


Fated to Fall

by ElmireDolores (ElmiDol)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-typical religious elements, F/M, Lemon, Medium Burn, Meeting at a young age, Romance happens when Reader is an adult, Some angst, Somewhat Dark fic, creepy Earl, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 09:48:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 26,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12033387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElmiDol/pseuds/ElmireDolores
Summary: You had met him at such a young age, yet somehow he had stuck with you through all the years.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited so there may be some spelling/grammar mistakes.

1\. Introduction

“Think about it~” You heard the man tell your mother prior to heading towards the door. You glanced towards your sobbing parent then slid your eyes to the man, who resembled something of a grotesque gentleman. The umbrella in his hands caught your eye; it was pink with a pumpkin head. Blinking, you rushed forward to grab the object. The gentleman paused upon feeling a tug at his umbrella. He peered down at you, a mere five-year old, as you prodded the pumpkin’s eye with your finger.

You failed completely to notice that the umbrella closed that eye in pain; the man had cleared his throat at that exact moment, and you had raised your chin to stare at him. His ever-present, large grin entranced you. You pondered for a moment if he was like the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood, and then remembered how kind he was to your mother—he hadn’t eaten her like the wolf in _that_ tale, after all. No, he must have been a different character, this bizarre gentleman.

“Totoro?” You said, your hands reaching up to touch his face. He pulled away from your touch, blinked at the unfamiliar name you had used, and cocked his head to the side. “You says you gonna bring back daddy, okay?”

He eyed you; for a moment he considered offering you the same deal he had extended to your mother, however you cut off his thoughts as you said:

“Can’ts you bring back Inny too?”

“Inny?” he asked, his mouth moving though his teeth never parted. He stared down his nose at you, moving his umbrella off to the side so where it was out of your reach. “Who’s that~”

“My puppy,” you said, sniffling. “Mommy says he died.”

The gentleman put a hand on your head and ruffled your hair. He chuckled to himself then squatted so that he was at your level, albeit still taller. Your bottom lip protruded forward when he told you that it was impossible for him to bring back your dog. All the same, he patted your head, and told you that, if fate favored you both, he would see you later—so long as your mommy said yes to him. Nodding, not understanding what he was implying, you waved to him as he opened the door. You offered your name to him, and told him to remember it for when he came back later. He promised he would.

“Buh-bye, Totoro,” you said, walking out with him until you had reached the doorframe. 

He turned around for but a moment and said, “I’m the Millennium Earl, (y/n)-chan~”

~The Next Day~

You sat at the kitchen table, fingers quick at work with weaving the flowers together into a flimsy crown. You hummed to yourself, swung your legs back and forth, and rocked a bit on your butt as you started to put the two ends together. Your mother was in the living room; you could hear random sniffles and sobs, but did what you could to ignore them. At the same time, you wondered for a moment when daddy would be back—dead meant gone for only a few months or so, right? Your mother had told you that dead meant gone forever, however that Millennium Earl fellow had seemed to disagree with her teachings.

Dinner was on the stove—a can of soup, still unopened, and the burner remained unlit. You didn’t mind if your mother forgot to start the meal; you weren’t all that hungry to begin with. 

Upon hearing a knock at the door, you jumped from your seat and rushed to answer it. For the past two days, your mother had barely managed to drag herself out of bed, and once she had done so she failed to leave your father’s casket’s side. You had, thus, been in charge of welcoming any and all visitors. This time, when your tiny hands grasped the handle, twisted, and pulled back the wooden frame, you perked up. Again did the bizarre gentleman stand before you. You smiled broadly at him, and handed him the crown of flowers that was still in your hand.

“I made it for you~” With that, you turned around and started to skip away, back towards the table.

The Earl, walking slowly behind you so that he would be able to speak with your mother, lifted the chain of flowers in his hand and stared at it. Generally, children either shied away from his person, or talked before running off. The fact that you had made something for him startled him greatly. _Strange child~_ he thought to himself.

He spared a single glance in your direction while you climbed back onto your chair and started coloring a picture. The Millennium Earl then walked into the living room, where your mother, still mourning the death of her husband and your father, sat.

In the meantime, you had taken out your crayons from their box and were busy drawing. There were three figures initially—your mother, father, and yourself. You added Inny; of course, remembering that the strange man had told you that Inny would not come back, you put a halo above the dog’s head. You shifted in your seat at that point, and did all that you could to not listen to the conversation going on in the other room--your mother had always told you that it was rude to eavesdrop. Thus, all you were able to hear were hissing whispers, all the words erased within your mind.

“Oh no’s!” you said to yourself as the crayon broke in half. You lifted the two pieces and stared. After a moment, you set down the broken utensil. Through with that, you pulled out a new crayon, finished the halo, and then began drawing a fifth person; this one took up space behind your family, a sort of background. The Earl’s umbrella, ears, and top hat were best viewed, while the remainder of his body was overlapped by your parents.

Not quite recalling what sort of bizarre decorations were on his top hat, you settled for a preferred symbol you had associated with him. You picked up the red crayon and hummed a bit before whispering:

"I'm glad you're bringing daddy back soon." Cocking your head to the side, you finished shading in the heart. "I love him."


	2. A Mouse with Two Cats

2\. A Mouse with Two Cats

The fact that you could no longer hear your mother's sob-wrecked voice did not faze you in the least. As for the Millennium Earl's insanity-touched chuckles, those did cause your head to tilt ever so slightly to the side. Had you been a dog, your ears would have perked up and perhaps even twitched. Dropping the red crayon from your hand, you pivoted your torso to face the entrance of the living room. Instantly your eyes widened in astonishment, narrowed in confusion, and then your jaw dropped. A brilliant light, faded around the edges, emerged from the doorway.

Your fingers lightly traced the edge of the chair's backing as you slipped down from your seat. A splinter lodged itself into your digit, yet went entirely unheeded as you walked like a moth to the flame towards the bright hues.

As though walking through a dream-corridor, your steps seemed to get you no closer but instead further away. You did not realize how dizzy you were, how the room seemed to spin and contort about you, how several times you did indeed slide your foot backwards rather than forwards. Your subconscious fear held you back--until your mother's whimper brought you out of the daze. Your legs stiffened, your body suddenly erect to where you stood a few inches taller than usual. Locked in that position, you were unable to move for all of two full seconds. At that point, you thrust your body forward, jerking into a run.

Your tiny feet pattered against the floor. The Earl paid you no heed when you ran into view, his gaze still on your mother. You knelt at her side, unsure why her face held the look that was the epitome of horror. Mouth dropping between completely open past the norm and nearly closed, lips quivering as though they were leaves trembling in a breeze. You wrapped your tiny hands around just one of your mother's, the splinter that had previously embedded itself into you piercing through her flesh as well, joining the pair of you together.

"Mommy?" your tiny voice squeaked out. She did not tear her eyes away from whatever it was she was staring at. And so you followed her gaze, turning to where you could look behind you--at the metal skeleton that was clawing at its own eyes. It emitted a low sob upon noticing your eyes were on its surface. It curled in on itself for but a moment.

You threw your body a good foot behind your mother's. For a second time the skeleton released a wail. Tears streamed down your cheeks as fear gripped your heart. It hurt to breathe your chest was so heavily consumed by that cloud of despair. It took every bit of effort to fight for full control over your bladder; you couldn't piss yourself--big girls didn't do that, your mother had always told you.

Noticing how badly your legs were trembling, crossing and uncrossing, the Millennium Earl hummed quietly. His eyes drifted to the flower crown that remained in his grasp. His arm slowly raised, wrist twisting until he was able to correctly place the decorative item upon the skeleton's skull. Mere seconds following, the metallic creature twisted, contorted, and slid a single limb--a leg--toward your mother. It seemed to attempt to fight each movement, its actions shaky, hesitant, and accompanied by sobs, whimpers, and wails from both it and your mother.

Your (color) eyes were glued on the flowers, which were slowly dying after having been plucked and maimed so beautifully by your fingers that had tenderly touched them. Simultaneous to the skeleton's movements, the Earl scooted closer to you, behind you. He knelt, his knees hitting lightly against the back of your beck. Your entire frame tensed, and a silent scream escaped you. He leaned in closer, his mouth directly beside your ear. You could feel his breath on your skin, Goosebumps rising.

"Happy birthday~" His voice whispered quietly. The creature seized your mother's jaw with both hands, jerking her mouth open until you heard a sick crunched, slurp, and gurgle. Then nothing more from your mother--no whimpers, no sobs, only a few more tears trickling down her cheeks before ending. Replaced instead by blood. The metallic skeleton sobbed in her place, muttering out various questions such as 'Why?' and apologies to both your and your mother in an oh-so-familiar voice.

"D-daddy?" you asked, your voice high-pitched and cracking. 

All the same, the Earl remained behind you, singing quietly, "Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday~"

Your dad, his soul trapped in the metal frame created by the Earl, could only choke on his next apology to you as he slipped a single foot into your deceased mother's mouth. You could hear the muscles tearing as your father dressed himself in your mother's skin. The flesh moved abnormally, each muscle and tendon tearing, giving way for the akuma that would dwell under the surface of flesh. Last to enter was his skull, still decorated by those light-colored flowers you had woven for the bizarre and grotesque gentleman who now knelt behind you, singing so merrily as your father killed your mother and manipulated her flesh.

"Sing, (y/n)-chan~" The Earl cooed, stroking your cheek with a single hand, the one that had previously held the flower crown, which was disappearing under your mother's skin. It was gone, and at last your bladder did fail you. "Your mommy and daddy are together again, little (y/n)-chan~ You should be so happy."

The light that had previously enveloped the room faded at long last, the dark magic of the Earl fading as your mother--father?--stood. The Earl's machine wiped the blood from itself, caressed the casket that remained in the room, and then turned its eyes to stare at you. Past you, to the Earl, awaiting further instructions.

"Would you like to join them, (y/n)-chan~ I'm sure your god will take you to your heaven~" he jeered, pressing his forefinger to your quivering lips. He did not even comment on the fact that your pants were soaking wet, that your urine was leaking backwards and slipping under his shoes. "He'll even give you a crown~"

Your hands landed in your own urine as you pressed them to the ground, your every intent on crawling away from the deranged man and his monster. The Earl, although your ankle hit his leg, did nothing. He only watched your frantic movements, how you splashed in the filth and scrambled into a crouch. Your little legs started to carry you away as you sprinted away clumsily. From his position, which had never once altered, the Millennium Earl chuckled in his characteristically dark manner.

Several times your voice ripped from your throat on its own accord; some of those noises were nothing more than screams while others were cries and shouts for help. You pleaded with anything and anybody who could hear you to come to your aid. Yet the town remained lifeless.

Stepping out into the daylight, your eyes drank in the horror around you. Pure stillness enveloped your neighborhood. It was as though you had stepped into an alternate reality where motion did not exist. Even the wind itself had gone. You, shaking and sobbing, could only stare at the buildings and trees around you. Your jaw was hanging open. Your eyes were wide, so impossibly wide. 

Only one person stood in contrast to the stillness; a dark haired little girl who wore a white blouse, black skirt, and striped stockings. Her messy hair caught your attention then her lollipop, which she licked every few seconds. The girl, roughly about the age of thirteen by her looks, stared at you. She had a grin upon her face, one that had your toes curling with uncertainty.

Her gaze lifted simultaneous to the moment a shadow fell over your frame. Your nose started dripping snot, your hands balled into fists, and you hid your eyes with those fists while you cried. Your heart was hurting your chest; it was drumming there so loudly and so hard. A pillowy-soft surface hit against your spine; you subconsciously leaned into it. A moment later you, with shaky legs that nearly gave out on you, turned your head and peered over your shoulder. What greeted you was the sight of the Earl's belly. Lifting your gaze, you were able to see his ever-present grin as well as the akuma that stood next to him. The latter remained clad in the skin of your mother.

"Ah, Road~" His voice had acquired a certain fondness to it. The dark-haired girl, with her strangely gray skin, perked up at being addressed by the Millennium Earl. "Did you trap the whole neighborhood?"

With an 'mmhmm~' and a twirl of her lollipop, Road skipped over to the Earl. Ignoring you almost completely, she embraced the Noah patriarch in a hug. With her arms still wrapped around him, she said, "She was making so much noise~ Can I eat her~?"

Bottom lip quivering, you watched her tongue, dark and sticky from her lollipop, slip out to caress her lips.


	3. Playing Tag with Fire

3\. Playing Tag with Fire

The Millennium Earl's eyes ran over your quivering frame; he the hunter and you the deer. He had multiple weapons to choose from to hunt you down and end your life; be it the dagger to your heart--your own father trapped within your mother’s skin--or the less personal, yet ever painful, arrow to your head--the Noah of Dreams, who would love nothing more than to play mind games with you. He thought this over whilst Road lapped at her lollipop. The Millennium Earl plotted your demise while you could only take your knuckles into your mouth and bite on them. Beads of red lifted to their surface, flowing over the contours of your hand. That crimson color at last drew the Earl's attention to the present.

He looked down at Road, placed a hand atop her head, and said, "No."

Looking dejected for but a moment, the dark-haired girl turned to you. Her arms left the Millennium Earl's protruding stomach and her hands reached for you. Whimpering, you took a step backwards from her. You were not fast enough--she had one hand on each of your shoulders. Your hair caught in the lollipop that was draped over your left shoulder, and you winced when it started to pull.

"Let's play," she said to you. Out of instinct you looked towards your mother's face to seek an answer. Immediately tears stung the corners of your eyes; your mind replayed the scene of your father's metal skeleton climbing inside her flesh. You clasped your hands together and sniffled.

"Road," the Earl began, causing the girl to turn and look at him. As a result, she lost her grip on you and on the lollipop, the latter of which fell to the ground and shattering after tugging on your hair. "Don't forget to do your homework later~"

Road tackled the Millennium Earl in another hug, to which he gave a slight 'oomph' as his stomach was hit against. He placed a hand on the top of her head, ruffled her hair, and then turned his attention to the akuma at his side. Your mother's eyes returned the gaze long enough for the Earl to issue a silent order. At that point, the akuma turned on its heel and headed back to your home, to your living room. During the machine's entire retreat, the Earl's eyes were glued to its head. More specifically, he was envisioning the flower crown that was no doubt drying out underneath all that dead flesh.

With a fleeting glance in your direction, the Millennium Earl tipped his hat to you and then parted. As soon as his back was to the pair of you, Road bounced on her feet, rocking back and forth from the ball to her toes and back again.

"I'll count to twenty~" Her sing-song voice carried about the neighborhood, ringing off the walls. Her eyelids drifted closed, she spun around to where she was facing away from you, and Road sang out, "One~"

Eyes widening, you looked around at your surroundings for one frantic second before taking off running. You knew where you would go to, where you had always hid from your parents after you had been punished. It was a place you always went to when you wanted nothing more than to be alone. You were seeking a place of solace, where you could do nothing more than hope that the dark-haired girl would not find you.

"Twelve~"

You took the side street that you knew to be a shortcut, cutting into the mail office's building. There you looked around you at all the seemingly asleep adults and children. 

"Eighteen~" 

Keeping in a squeaking wail, you opened the lid of the chest where individuals normally placed their coats. You hopped inside, wrapping yourself in the jackets and scarves within. The lid you had already replaced as silently as you could. Shaking, your clothing at last drying and still smelling of urine, you waited in your sanctuary, hoping that you would be alone--completely alone--until someone would come to save you.

_"Ready or not, here I come~"_

You could feel your heart beating in your chest, could hear Road searching for you as she giggled randomly, and smell the musk of the jackets you had previously buried yourself in. The dust carried upon them nearly had you sneezing; you scrunched your nose before shaking your head. You could not make a single peep, you reminded yourself. If you did, Road would find you and--what came next, you were not certain. It would not be anything good, that much you had gathered.

Footsteps grew closer and closer to your hiding place. A beat upon the ground, similar to a drum. It had you quaking in anticipation.

 _Please don't let the lid open_ , you pleaded in your mind. _Please don't let her find me._

In your pleading, you had released the smallest of whimpers, nothing more than a squeak that a mouse could have drowned out with its own noise. It was enough, however, and you knew this the moment the footsteps stopped. Directly beside your hiding place. You gulped down the saliva that had gathered in your mouth. You had placed one of your hands over your mouth, trying to keep from making any more noises; hoping, praying silently that Road would believe she had made a mistake.

Light filtered into the box you were in as hands lifted the lid. You sobbed. Hands were squirming with the coats all around you, poking and prodding--feeling for you. You started fighting back, slapping at the limbs that sought to seize you. This did no good; those hands gripped you by the upper arms and hauled you out of the box.

Eyes closed, you continued to struggle. Kicking your legs, swinging your arms, and flailing your body, you cried out, "Let me go. Please let me go! I won't tell what he did to mommy. I won't tell!"

The hands lowered you onto the ground. At that moment, you thrashed your body, successfully breaking free and away from those hands that sought to hold you.


	4. Heaven

4\. Heaven

"Piss on my hands," you heard a deep grumble from behind you. Your legs tensed as you froze up; the moment the male voice had flowed into your ears, you stopped walking. Your eyelids fluttered open. A small, startled gasp escaped your lips, and the following second you twisted your torso to see who was standing behind you. Indeed, it was not Road, as you had previously expected. Instead there stood a man with long red-hair and goatee. He was studying his hands with his single visible eye, the other covered by both his hair and a mask. "She's a very filthy child."

"Are you going to eat me?" It had been the first thought that popped into your mind. In truth, though garbed in a black attire, this strange man did not look like anyone who would want to eat you. At that point, however, you were completely convinced that only monsters dwelt in the world; some would devour you in a heartbeat, and others would simply tear you apart. "With salt and pepper?"

"Salt...and...pepper." He squinted his eyes, stared at you, and frowned. It was evident he was not experienced with children. His eyes wandered to the side, his expression one of deep thought. His gaze once more dropped to his hands. "...and urine..." Eyes drifting to you--by this time, you were blinking up at him innocently, twirling your hair with one hand and tugging at the hem of your shirt with the other, all the while curling your toes in anticipation and fear--he released a sigh. "Well, I guess you're a pretty, young lady--you can come near me."

You shuffled your feet forward until you were a mere three inches from him. The man bent his knees, squatting in front of you. Sniffling, you kept your head down but lifted your eyes to peer into his face. The man offered a sloppy grin, something akin to a smirk, and said:

"C'mon. Let's get you out of here before the Earl comes back."

Blinking, you rocked on your feet, tipping backwards then forwards. You said nothing in response to his suggestion. When he placed a hand on your upper arm, you winced.

"There's only a little bit of time," his deep voice rumbled out.

You sniffled again. You spoke to him, but in nothing more than a whisper. "He said I'd go to heaven."

The smile upon the man's face faltered. You dropped your gaze, grabbing at the front of your shirt with both hands. Your teeth seized your bottom lip and chewed.

"Not yet, you won't," the man said. He wrapped his arms around you, lifting your small body bridal style.

For a while, as he walked you out of the post office and began sneaking through the town Road had placed into a stupor, you remained silent. When at last you could see the wind blowing through the trees once more, you tilted your chin up and stared at his face. Though he knew you were watching him, he said nothing. 

He must have been focused on his thoughts for he startled when you spoke, still in nothing more than a tiny voice.

"Mister, are you God?"

The man blinked, then burst out laughing. His baritone chuckles went deep from his chest, moving against you. You could not help but smile in return, a wide grin that had your teeth pulling back to reveal your teeth.

"Sure thing, kid. But you can call me Cross." You leaned your head against his chest, relishing in the fact that you could hear another heartbeat. "Do you have a name, little lady?"

"(y/n)," you squeaked.

"That's a cute name for a pretty lady," Cross Marian told you with a grin. Somehow, he seemed to have forgotten your small frame was covered in dried urine.

You closed your eyes as he continued to carry you through your quiet town and far away from your home, from the akuma that resided within. God had saved you, you told yourself shortly before falling asleep; and his arms, wrapped around you, felt just like heaven.


	5. Flower Maiden

5\. Flower Maiden

By the age of ten you had been living with your foster family for over three years. In that time you had been visited by General Cross nine times. On each visit he remarked how beautiful you were becoming before leaving town, more debt to his name. Your foster parents had insisted upon you studying various artistic activities, flower arrangement among them. You had wrinkled your nose at the beginning of the week upon learning of your new class. Ever since you could remember, you did not like playing with flowers. It had to do with the death of your biological parents, you recalled. Though the exact details had faded over time, a common occurence for those who experience a traumatizing event.

Skipping out on class without your parents' knowledge, you had run through the alleyways of town. That was how you came to find yourself crashing into a gentleman. Your head collided with his stomach, causing him to gasp and grunt in surprise. His hands came to rest on your shoulders. You looked up into his face, your own countenance flushed in embarassment. You took in his features. A trace of facial hair and brown, almond eyes that held you captive for a time.

Setting his cane in the crook of one arm, he crouched down so that he was level with your face. He was handsome, that was for certain. "Why now, aren't you a pretty thing?" he said, his voice deep. You bit down on your bottom lip and dropped your eyes to the ground. A few men had complimented you in the past, certainly. However, they had never appealed to you as this man before you did. You could feel butterflies in your stomach fluttering about. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

"Oh...no... No, I'm okay," you said, raising your eyes long enough to look him in the eyes for all of two seconds.

He sighed in relief, grabbing a strand of your hair between two fingers and rubbing it. "That's good. Would you like a flower?"

Your eyes widened in absolute horror at the very idea of it. The man blinked, realizing that he had somehow said something wrong. His eyes wandered over to the little girl selling flowers two yards away. You followed his gaze, your eyes dropping to the plants, and you shuddered. The man's eyes lit up with amusement.

"You don't like flowers?" He twirled the captive strand of your hair around one finger. Your attention shifted back to him. "Most girls your age make crowns out of them." He pronounced 'crowns' with a soft sigh, as though the word was dear to him. For you, the word caused your heart to skip a beat.

You shook your head, suddenly ready to leave for reasons you could not explain. "Thanks anyways, sir. I should...uh..."

He had stood up before you, looked around, and adjusted his top hat. "I should help get you home. I'm sure your parents are worried."

"No, that's okay!" you said, perhaps too abruptly. He cocked his head to the side. Realizing your mistake, you bit down on your bottom lip again. Talk about putting your foot in your mouth! "They... I was supposed to be in class right now."

"Oh?" He seemed greatly intrigued.

"Yes," you said, nodding and failing to meet his gaze. "A... a flower arranging class."

His chuckle was rich and once more had your face reddening. "I see, I see. Well, how about I treat you to a snow cone? It'll be our little secret, hmm?" To say you were surprised with how nice he was being was an understatement. Most adults you knew scolded you for such behavior. The man reached out for you with his left hand, which you accepted almost immediately. His fingers closed around your hand. They felt tight and secure, the warmth of his flesh sending goosebumps along your arms and legs.

You did not know who this man was, but you were certain he was the first one ever to make your heart want to leap from your chest this way.


	6. Infatuation

6\. Infatuation

Thirteen years old and your body was undergoing a number of changes. Your developing body brought attention, mostly unwanted, towards you. Many times you shied away from members of the opposite gender, although a few boys caught your eye. Alas, not a soul could compare to Adam, who had stolen your heart that fateful day you had crashed into him. The snow cone the two of you had shared in secret was forever on your mind when you took walks through the gardens. Flowers were once more appreciated by you as well, though only a select few.

Adam had invited you to a number of balls, however you had danced with him only a single time. It seemed he was quite popular with the ladies and so avoided the dance floor, though he admitted to watching you during every event. This had caused your blood to flow to your cheeks and your eyes to fall to the floor.

Now fifteen years old, and you had danced with him twice more. The third and final occurrence stood out in your mind the clearest. The two of you had met in secret after an announcement of your departure had been sent to his home. You were in a meager dress when he caught up to you strolling in the park. Taken aback, you shyly accepted his offer to chaperone you to a more secluded area so that the two of you might talk.

"You're leaving?" he asked once no one else was around.

You nodded, looked off into the sky at a flock of birds, and then gazed at Adam. "Yes. It seems that I'm chosen for some... I don't even remember what they called it."

His eyes narrowed for but a moment, and you nearly missed the action. "You'll return then?"

For a moment your bottom lip was seized by your teeth. Your heart was racing. "I..." You could not look him in the face as you shook your head in the negative. His hands were on your cheeks, caressing them. Shocked, your eyes met his. Your heart skipped several beats.

Adam dropped his hands from your face and trailed one along the length of your arm, entwining your fingers together. His other hand he laid against your lower back. Adam pressed your bodies close together and started to move, dancing to a tune that was no doubt playing in his head. You closed your eyes, rested your head on his chest, and allowed him to lead.

"You've become such a pretty young woman, (y/n)," he said in a voice hardly above a whisper. "I feel as though I've known you forever." You giggled at this. Adam was always a rather melodramatic fellow, a trait you found quite endearing. "And here you are, about to leave me for boys in a far off place."

You could practically hear the sob in his voice. Wrinkling your nose, you peered up into his face. Sure enough, a tear was forming in the corner of his eye. He averted his gaze, attempting to prevent you from seeing it.

"Mother would have a fit if she knew you were speaking to me like this," you said, a wide smile on your face. "As would a number of ladies I've met at your parties."

"I'm sure that's not true~" he said in a rather pleasant voice. The statement was followed by a hum. You, meanwhile, shook your head.

As the dance ended and the two of you stepped from one another, Adam brought your hand up to his lips. He kissed you on the back of your hand. The action caused you to swallow hard. "I'm not...leaving you for boys anyway." 

"Hmm?" His eyes were glued on you. There was something in them, a curiosity yet a hesitance as well. As though he wanted to ask you _why_ you were leaving but was at the same time afraid to know.

"Yes... it's something about a thing called Innocence," you said then laughed. "All I can remember is that they're making me leave tomorrow so that I can be with more people like me." Your brow furrowed. "Whatever _that_ means."

His jaw tightened, and for a moment you wondered if you had said something wrong. "(Y/n)..." A chill went up your spine at the cold tone of his voice. Adam cleared his throat, smiled widely, and continued, "There's no one in the world like you."

You blushed deeply at his words. He raised his hand to caress your cheek, brushing aside some of your hair. Adam once more drew you to him, beginning a new dance. Throughout it his expression remained thoughtful. Whenever he cast down his gaze to your face, a light smile would play on his lips. Your cheeks retained a rosy hue that deepened whenever he would spin you out then bring you back to him.

It was rather intimate, the closeness of your bodies. Not even in ballrooms had you ever seen him dance this way with any of the ladies who happened to secure such an honor. He made you feel more than special, he made you feel loved. The difference in your age and his meant nothing to you. 

When the dance was completed, Adam buried his face in the crook of your neck. Your eyes widened considerably at the act. He inhaled your scent and remained there for a number of seconds. You relaxed against him, rubbing your thumb along his arms.

"Adam..." you said softly, feeling your heart racing in your chest. "I wish I didn't have to leave you..." A soft sigh from him. "There's... there's no one in the world like you either." There was no one else who had stolen your heart.


	7. Romeo

7\. Romeo

That night you were awoken by a tapping noise at your window. You sleepily rubbed your eyes, sitting up a second later when the tapping did not end. Your bare feet met the floor quietly. Peeking over your shoulder at the door, you hoped that none of the robed clergy men or their companions could hear you. They had been strict all night, ensuring that you remained indoors. Apparently sneaking off was common for those suspected of being compatible with the Innocence. You were not quite sure why, nor did they divulge this information.

Arriving at your window, you undid the lock and slowly, as silently as possible, slid it open. The tapping had ended when your shadow had fallen over the glass surface. Leaning out your window, your heart skipped several beats when you saw Adam sitting on a branch of the tree that stood outside your room. You were glad you had chosen a more modest nightgown to wear that night. Tucking a strand of hair behind your head, your eyes widened for fear of his safety when Adam stood on the tree's limb.

His balance was impeccable. Using his cane to support some of his weight, Adam reached out to you with his free hand. You accepted the proffered limb after a moment's hesitation. In this way, he led you onto the tree branch with him. All the while, he took several steps backwards to allow more room for you.

"Adam," you whispered, careful to not alert anyone in the household of his presence or of your escape. You stared up into his face, which moved ever-closer to yours. "I..."

His nose brushed against yours, his lips sealing over yours in a gentle kiss. His facial hair tickled you in a marvelous way, causing your toes to curl in delight. His flesh ghosted over yours, his arm wrapping around your waist while his free hand tangled itself in your hair. When he parted it was so that the two of you could both get some air. Your face was flushed, from lack of oxygen, from the way he made you feel, and from having your first real kiss.

"Stay with me here," he pleaded. "If you leave... I won't lose you to the _damn_ Innocence!"

The sudden temper caught you off guard, the passion in his eyes intense.

"I don't...I don't have a choice. If I did..." Your voice trailed off, your hands gripping the front of his shirt. "If I did, I would stay here with you."

"Then we'll run away together," he said, although you knew he was not thinking rationally.

With a weak smile, you shook your head. Confusion easily molded his face. "When I was little... I don't remember a lot about my early childhood, like why I hate flowers, but... When I was little, a man saved my life. That man also used Innocence and... I want to be able to save someone like that too."

Adam looked as though you had shot him through the heart with a bullet. The pained expression on his face tore at you, made tears fill your eyes. You felt so strongly for this man, but you could not abandon your call. Not after Cross had saved your life like he had. You slid your foot forward, closing the distance between the two of you. You tenderly touched the side of Adam's face, and he leaned his cheek against your palm.

"I won't let this be the end of us~"

You smiled widely, your heart leaping with joy. "It won't be. You've made me feel like...like nobody else has ever done."

His expression softened all the more. His mouth hungrily sought yours. You responded immediately to the kiss, shyly returning his passion. He held you for a long while before at last leaving. Once more he vowed that your departure would not be the end. You felt your heart stutter, your stomach flutter, and your cheeks heat up. You truly hoped his words were rang true.


	8. Green Shine

8\. Green Shine

Adam sat atop his bed, his knees pulled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around his legs. His face was buried and audible sobs could be heard across the room. The only two witnesses of the Millennium Earl's displays of emotion were Lero and Road. The former was curled against one of the bedposts, attempting to offer words of comfort to the man. Everything the golem said seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Road, her heart going out for the Noah family's patriarch, sat cross-legged on the bed in front of him. She cupped her chin in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees. 

"It's okay~ Don't cry~" she said in a cheerful voice. "It was just a human~"

Sniffling, Adam only sunk further into his own lap. "She was not, she was not. (Y/n) was special~" If broken hearts could be voiced, his tone was the epitome of heartache.

Road blinked at the sound of your name. She cocked her head to the side, tapped a lone finger against her bottom lip, and hummed. Lero took another try at cheering up its master while the Noah of Dreams drifted off to memory lane. She tried to place that name with a face of one of the ladies who had attended the Earl's many balls but failed. After several minutes of the Earl's sobbing had transpired, something clicked in her brain.

"You said '(y/n)'~?"

Her sing-song tone attracted Adam's attention. He lifted his head from his lap. His face was red and moist, a sorry sight for sore eyes.

"Just hearing her name is hard," the man whined.

Road, her eyebrows drawn together, leaned her face closer to the elder Noah. "Isn't she the girl you wouldn't let me eat?" she asked with a whine that equaled Adam's.

He blinked several times. "What?"

"Yeah," Road continued, waving her hand in the air as though everything was plain as day. "You know... the little girl with the flower crown. You wouldn't let me eat her and Cross interfered. I remember it because you cried that day too~"

Her face fell when she noticed Adam's reaction to her words. The patriarch of the Noah family had once again buried his face into his lap and sobbed out pathetically:

"Cross stole her from me again, he did it again!"

"You didn't even remember it was her!" Road shouted in an irritated voice although she didn't really mind at all.

 

~~~~

 

One would have believed that you were being led to the slaughter. Your hands were bound by cloth in front of you, which was affixed to a chain held by one of the Finders. An identical gray cloth was tightened over your eyes before you stepped into the carriage. That had been ten minutes ago, before the horses had begun trotting forward towards the train station. Papers rustled around you. Whispers were hissed in foreign languages you had never before studied. A single question remained in your mind; why were these clergy men so secretive? 

You already knew something about the Black Order from the little time you had spent with Cross over the years. Apparently what little you did know was not even the tip of the ice berg. 

_What is it about this Innocence that they are so worried about?_ you wondered. Behind the blindfold, you shut your eyes tighter. The material was irritating your skin. 

A single word you could understand, and it was the same word they had constantly used when referring to you. Potential. You were a _potential_ exorcist according to these men. What, you wondered, would happen to you if you wound up _not_ being an exorcist? Would they blindfold you once more and lead you home? Something in the back of your mind highly doubted that.

 _Maybe that's why other potential exorcists run away,_ you told yourself. _But what can be so horrible about the Innocence that they would want to do that? They'd risk death to get away from the Innocence. Can something be worse than death?_

A flash of a memory, just a few small seconds. A light from a room adjacent to you while you're so small and sitting at the table, coloring. Another memory, one occuring around the same timeframe; Cross Marian firing a bullet tinted in green light at a strange monster. A monster he referred to as an Akuma.

_Could this Innocence do something worse to me than what that monster would have done?_


	9. Time

9\. Time

Your heart raced in your chest as the men led you, now no longer blindfolded, towards the center of a room. On all four sides stood men, as well as a few women, dressed in either lab coats or armor. You took note of the guns in holsters. Of the sense of unease in the air. Your stomach churned as you realized that these people were all preparing for you to fail at--what, you still were not entirely certain. Allowing the men on either side of you to continue leading, you made your way to the middle of the room. You were trembling as they fastened you to the metal table, telling you to relax. In truth, if it hadn't been for your strong belief in Marian Cross, you would have tried to book it out of there. The fact that they had guns had also stopped you from running.

Two large straps went across your upper arms. Four buckles for your waist and torso. Your legs had three situated at your knees, ankles, and thighs. Your nerves were on edge. Your stomach was roiling with acid. The world around you felt as though it were spinning. Voices around you told you to relax. Instructed you to not fight it. There might be a little pain, one person did admit, but it would be best for you to relax.

Praying you wouldn't void your bladder when they started the process of whatever it was they were aiming to do, you started to close your eyes. A stern, masculine voice, however, instructed you to open them. You lifted your eyelids, which were then manipulated into place. You were unable to so much as blink. What this had to do with Innocence, you were not certain. More and more were you feeling like some experiment from a horror story. Digging your nails into the metal table under them, you waited for what seemed like forever before people in lab coats moved into your line of view.

Just as you were starting to relax, one of them brought closer a cup of...something with a green shine. It reminded you of Cross's Innocence-laced bullets. You tensed then, starting to release a scream, as the man holding the cup started to tilt it. A scream of agony ripped from your throat as the liquid splashed into your eyes. You could feel it seeping into your body, into your optic nerves. You loud, your entire body spasming, kept in place only by the restraints. Your back arched off the table as much as it could.

It felt as though you were being burnt alive, or at least that your eyes were. Your teeth clattered together, screams still retching from your throat, which was growing sore. As your body started to go into convulsions, you felt someone shove a cloth into your mouth, blocking your tongue from your teeth.

Everything in the room started to darken. It was as though the lights had been shut off all at once. The pain began to ebb away. Darkness remained. Your chest heaved, your body starting to come down from the throes of pain. You could hear whispers around you. And see strings of light that connected to whoever was talking at the time. That was all. Each person had a different color string of light. A shade or tint, a pattern unique only to them.

Your brain did not register much else. Only the lights that you were able to see from the voices. Questions directed at you. Lights connected to someone talking to _you_.

"H...help...me..." That was the first time you saw your own light. A swirl of green wrapped around it, identical in color to the Innocence. And then you lost consciousness.

Two months later your eyes are still covered by bandages. You have come to recognize people by the sound and color of their voices. A man by the name of Komui has a blue light that is covered in X's made up of orange. He held your hand, speaking words of comfort as your doctor began to unwind the bandages. His younger sister, Lenalee, was on your other side. She gasped in anticipation. Orange light with blue X's. You could tell they are related, that they are close to one another.

Slowly a blinding white envelopes your vision. You close your eyes then squint. The only other time you had ever had your bandages removed, you were in a completely dark room. This time, however, they wanted to test your sight. The Innocence had completely merged with your optic nerve. A parasitic type, you had been told. Komui and Lenalee both made startled noises. You peeked at them, taking in their blurry faces. Shadows were all you could see of them. Silhouettes that wavered.

It took you another three months before you were able to move about without light bugging you. Three months for you to grow accustomed to seeing both what was around you as well as the lights voices made. Inititally the mingling visions caused you migraines that left you bed-ridden for a day to four days. Now, however, you used glasses when the strain grew too much. Often times you avoided looking into mirrors. Your eyes, when the Innocence was not activated, looked the same as always. When you activated the Innocence, however, your eyes took on a greenish glow, designs etched into your irises. 

Adjusting your glasses as you fought yet another migraine, you took a bite of the food that was in front of you. The parasitic type Innocence had caused your appetite to greatly increase. Lenalee took the seat next to yours. You spared a glance in her direction then continued eating.

"I wonder when they'll allow us to train together," she said. The Chinese girl was in good spirits. The light of her voice thrummed in a rhythm that displayed her joy.

You turned your attention to her. "I'm not sure...how safe that would be." Lenalee gave you a questioning look. You slouched a bit, behavior that your step-parents would have loathed. "I'm just now learning how to control Noivi." The name of your Innocence. It still felt awkward rolling off your tongue.

Lenalee seemed greatly intrigued. She leaned closer to you. "They said you had figured out how to use it. I've been really curious...ever since you told me that you could see voices..."

You smiled. She was one of your closest friends. One of your only friends if you were to be honest with yourself. Komui was your other friend. You only knew Kanda from hanging out with Lenalee. The samurai still hardly acknowledged your existence, which you didn't particularly mind.

"Yeah..." Your gaze switched to your empty plates. "It's more like...I can see the air leaving someone's body. And then...I control that air if I concentrate enough." You shoved your hands into your lap. "I've only managed to do it three times. I'm nowhere near close enough to go out on missions. At this rate, they'll probably take the Innocence away..."

Lenalee smiled at you reassuringly. "You just have to give it time, (y/n)." You could not help but smile in return. The colors of your voice and hers mingled as the two of you laughed lightly.


	10. Heartstring

10\. Heartstring

You were not entirely sure how much time elapsed before at long last you were allowed out into the field. Even so, you had not mastered your Innocence. Central had merely demanded you get experience on lower-level missions that were normally delegated to Finders. The hope was that working in the field would prompt you to improve on your skills with your Innocence. You, personally, saw it as more of a distraction and headache. The variety of vocals that rang out and swam into your vision thrust you into a vertigo more often than not.

Luckily for you, a Finder with the surname Smithsen was often on the missions with you. He had taken to wrapping an arm around you whenever the strain Noivi placed on you was too much. You would hold onto him, allowing him to support your weight.

Currently you had your eyes closed. You and Smithsen were settled against a dumpster. Night had fallen more than an hour ago, and your comrades had not yet returned as they had intended. In truth, you were beginning to grow worried. Your heart beat in your chest. Smithsen kept whispering under his breath. You knew this only due to the chord of green-yellow light that coiled every few seconds. You opened your eyes, looking at him.

Smithsen had stiffened. Your toes curled in your shoes. Something was wrong. You knew this by the way he swore loud enough for you to hear. Then he covered his mouth with his hand, grabbing you with his other limb and dragging you around to the other side of the dumpster, out of view from the alley. Mere seconds later a large shadow fell across the alley. It was large. The akuma was at least a level 2. The Finder glanced at you then made a face, as though he were mentally swearing. Right then, you knew, he was wishing a different--more competent--Exorcist was present.

You chanced a peek past the dumpster. It had a long neck. Was roughly ten feet in height. A mixture of a lizard and human in appearance. In truth, it reminded you of a dragon from storybooks in your childhood minus the scales and horns. Its head was smooth, teeth long. Your heart was starting to race. You turned back around, looking to Smithsen.

Swallowing hard, you rose onto shaking legs, still squatting low enough so that the akuma could not see you. You raised your hood, lowering it over your eyes partway to help you keep your nerve. You grabbed onto the edge of the dumpster and whipped around it. The akuma's eyes immediately focused on you, dilating then constricting. The corners of its mouth twitched upwards into a grin. The mechanical creation of the Millennium Earl chuckled.

Purple light with an 's' every four inches. Akuma generally did have a vocal light similar in shade to dark matter. You activated your Innocence, your eyes glowing that familiar Innocence-shade of green. The akuma shifted, raising a large arm. It was sluggish. You inhaled deeply, held your breath then at last exhaled as you tuck-and-rolled towards it. The akuma, having aimed where you were previously standing, embedded its talons in the empty ground.

"Exorcist," it ground out. You grabbed onto the chord of its voice, wrapping the strings around your fingers. The Order had you working on speed for a reason; you used your training to run closer to the akuma, throwing the chord of its voice like a lasso then tugging. It caught around the creature's neck.

The akuma grazed its claws against the invisible binding. Only you could see its chords, and for this you were thankful. And then a new chord seemed to wrap around you as a creaky voice sounded, sending chills down your spine. "What a queer abomination~" This chord was a romantic red in color, punctuated by a heart at the end of the sentence. You could see that affectionate symbol despite the malice in those words.

Though you held tightly to the akuma's vocal light and continued to strangle it with that purple shade, you turned. There stood the queerest looking gentleman. Large ears. Impossibly wide grin with teeth much larger than your hands. Gray skin. Yellow eyes that were almost hidden behind his pince-nez. Though you could see his face, he could not see yours for your hood continued to place your countenance in shadow.

"Good evening, little Exorcist~" That heart again. You found yourself almost distracted by it. "Don't move~" You furrowed your brow before realizing that this man was commanding the akuma, who instantly relaxed. The chord dropped loose. The akuma, able to shrug free, twisted and nearly clipped you with its claw. You threw yourself to the side, landing on the ground.

You winced at the impact, knowing you would be bruised--if you survived the night. You rolled away from the second blow, landing on your back. Your hood fell off your head. The grotesque gentleman's eyes flared with such anger and malice that you found yourself whimpering at the mere sight. You squeezed your eyes closed, shaking. 

It had dawned upon you the identity of this man. He could command the akuma. He was strange. He held contempt for you because you were an Exorcist. _This_ was the world's greatest enemy, the Earl of Millennium. His heartstring vocal light seemed almost a joke, irony at its finest.

You started to crab-walk backwards as the Earl took a step closer to you. You had opened your eyes again, staring at him in horror. The Earl of Millennium closed the distance between the two of you, aided by the fact that the wall inhibited you from backing away any further. You were on your feet once more. Shaking all over. Your knees quaking. You feared you were about to wet your pants in your terror. Yet what scared you was not just the possibility of losing your own life--but of Smithsen acting as Finders typically did; sacrificing himself to save you. It would be futile. It would be--

The Earl placed a large, gloved hand against the side of your face. Your teeth clattered noisily. His thumb pressed directly under your eye. The pressure hurt. "Look what they did~" Sorrow mingled with disgust. The heart at the end of his string appeared almost cracked. "This might hurt me more than it will you, (y/n)~"

Your lips parted and your eyes widened--how and why he knew your name were questions you both did and did not want answered. You did not have much time to dwell on this as a dark energy surrounded the tips of his fingers. He pressed his thumb closer to your eye, his index and middle fingers pressing near the upper-lid. As it dawned on you that he was about to perform an enucliation, you screamed and grabbed at his wrist. Turning your head and yanking away, his fingers pierced through a thin layer of the brick wall rather than destroying your eyeball.

"Don't make this more difficult~" The heartstrings were making you sick. You started away from him only to freeze when the akuma blocked your path. 

You whipped around the face the Earl, glaring at him through your tears. "D-don't touch me." You tried to sound brave, however the tremor in your voice belied the front you tried to put up. His eyes once more flared with rage. With pure hatred and loathing--for the Innocence, for your eyes.


	11. Horror Show

11\. Horror Show

As the Earl reached towards your eyes once more, Smithsen walked out from behind the dumpster. The akuma paid him no heed; nor did the Earl, who had not yet noticed his presence he was so focused on you. You pressed yourself tightly against the wall once more, too terrified to be embarrassed over the trickle of urine that made its way down your leg. Those gloved-fingers, once more coated with dark matter, found your eyelids. He shifted the tissue, his digits nearly touching your eyeball when a weight slammed into him. Smithsen shoved aside the Noah patriarch as best he could, allowing you a moment to create some distance between yourself and the grotesque gentleman.

The akuma's hand shot forward, its claw grazing Smithsen's side. The Finder fell to one knee in pain, his hand flying to his injury. He glared up at the Earl with unmasked hate. The gray-skinned man merely chuckled darkly. His eyes glinted as the akuma, instructed by its creator to not make a sound lest you employ your Innocence's talents, grabbed hold of Smithsen's legs in one hand and his arms in the other.

Your light was the only one to shine as you screamed. It was soon joined by Smithsen's as the akuma started to tug on him. The Earl's heart-punctuated light flowed through the air as he chuckled. You reached out, desperately snatching at the red light. It flowed through your fingers several times before at last you caught hold of it. Smithsen screamed, shouting and gasping. Yelping. Swearing. His legs separated at his thighs, his shoulders popping out of place with sickening sounds. You could hear the muscles tearing.

You once more pissed yourself, falling to your knees and losing the contents of your stomach on the ground. The Earl's light was still wrapped around your fingers. Images floated through your mind. The Earl squatting behind you. A skeletal frame climbing into your mother. A flower crown. 

The smell of your urine triggered more memories. Fear. Hiding from a strange little girl. The Millennium Earl singing a horrid parody of 'Happy Birthday'. 

You trembled, convulsing as you vomited up air. The akuma shredded the flesh of Smithsen's stomach, his innards spalshing to the ground. You sobbed, gasping for air. The world around you blurred, doubled, got a hazy film to it. You could hear his shouting the entire time. Could hear the gore. Could smell it. All until he fell silent and the large akuma dropped his remains. 

A new splashing sounded. Footsteps in pools of blood. A sickening squish--a shoe stepping down on a portion of intestine. You squeezed your eyes shut. You were only fifteen. Your birthday was in two months. If only you lived long enough. If only... You sobbed again. The memory kept repeating itself. The horror of Smithsen's death circling round and round. The Earl walking through his shredded flesh before at last arriving in front of you.

He squatted before you, snatching up the back of your head, gripping your hair roughly. He yanked your head back, forcing you to look up at him. His eyes of pure loathing glued to your orbs. "You're mine~"

You screamed, grabbing his light and tugging. The Earl choked, his free hand clutching at his throat. His eyes narrowed. The man relinquished his hold on you, grabbing up his golem. He swung it, catching your right eye with the very tip. Blood spattered across the ground. You grabbed your eye in both hands. The Earl jumped backwards. You, enveloped in pain, missed the way he winced at your screams of agony.

The world around you went black as you fainted.


	12. Glimpse of the Past

12\. Glimpse of the Past 

A small scar on your eyebrow. The need to wear your glasses more frequently. You found yoruself lucky that Komui and the doctors were able to repair your Innocence--restore your vision fully--with only these to show for it. Physically, at least. Mentally you had been emotionally frail. Terrified. Paranoid. The Order had quarantined you for a period of eight months before slowly integrating you back with the other Exorcists. Lenalee had been the first to visit you when you were allowed visitors.

Here you were, an adult woman, and you could not keep from tensing whenever a man brought you a flower. Now that you knew why you had hated them in the first place, you had found yourself despising the plants once more. You almost wished Adam were there with you; he had been such a rock for you. As it was, you doubted he would have waited this long for you. Years. It had been more than three years since you had last seen him. The Earl was another face only in the history books, however you silently prayed each time you went out that it would remain as such.

When you received a mission in your old hometown, you took the time to visit the foster family that had taken you in. You sat with your foster mother in the garden, and walked with your foster father through town. At the end of it all, you rejoined the Finders at the hotel. The other Exorcist who was with you had wandered off to see the shops. Soon the Finders, too, found it to their liking to venture off and see the sights. 

Biting your bottom lip, you had mustered up all your strength and headed for Adam's home. You adjusted your glasses, hoping he would recognize you despite them. When you thought of the possibility that he had married, your heart stuttered and you felt sick to your stomach. You walked up his garden path, wincing and sticking to the center of the brick upon seeing the florals. You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to calm your nerves. 

Would he even remember you? The question pressed itself into your brain, nudging you every few seconds. Of course he would, you reasoned. The two of you had been acquainted for five years before you had joined the Order. The hurt expression on his face returned. The way he had kissed you.

You pressed three fingers against your lips, pausing at the door without knocking for several seconds. You blinked, swallowed down the saliva that had gathered in your mouth, and at last raised a single fist. You knocked twice, sharp and loud. The same butler as years ago answered the door. You asked if Adam might be home and willing to have tea with you. The butler requested that you wait for just a moment. He closed the door and returned only after eight minutes had transpired. 

"The master has a sore throat, and asks that you excuse the fact he cannot talk." You clenched your teeth, feeling your heart plummet to your stomach, which flipped. "He does, however, desire to see you. He says that having tea with you would raise his spirits."

You blushed, imagining those very words slipping out of Adam's lips. It sounded just like him. 

You allowed yourself to be led by the butler up two flights of stairs. You followed him towards the back of the house. If you wanted to be technical, it was a mansion in which Adam lived. You were taken to a balcony. Adam was seated there already, dressed impeccably as always. You blushed. He looked just as handsome as you remembered. The brown-haired man stood upon noticing your entrance.

His eyes took you in. Adam closed the distance between the two of you, waving away the butler with a gesture. His fingers caressed your cheek. You found yourself naturally relaxing at his touch, your eyes closing. His thumb ghosted over your lips. Your eyelids fluttered open. You could feel his breath on your face. You hoped you did not catch whatever illness he had, however were too happy to be this close to him to tell him to move away.

"I've missed you... I never forgot about you," you said. His cheeks heated up. Adam swallowed, his throat bobbing. He reached for your glasses, gently removing them. You allowed him to do this, allowed him to lead you over to the small table that was set up for the two of you. He moved the chairs so that when you were sitting your knees were touching his. "I... I remembered why I hate flowers."

His facial expression was pained. You dropped your gaze to your lap, quietly telling him the tale of your childhood. He did not stop caressing you a single time. One hand always on yours, which were pressed together in your lap. You recounted to him how the Innocence had been poured into your eyes, the goings on of the past years.

Smiling weakly after sipping some tea to soothe your throat, which had grown dry after all that talking, you said, "I really wish you were feeling better. I miss your voice."

His lips parted. Air puffed out. Adam then closed his mouth, pressing his lips together in a tight line. As though it pained him as well that he could not speak to you.

"But...seeing you is just..." You trembled as you set a hand against his cheek. Your heart was pounding in your chest. You leaned forward, capturing his lips with yours. Now that you were a woman, you could not help but think of him in a much more intimate manner than you had in the past. His mouth responded hungrily, his hands wrapping in your hair. You felt his tongue slip into your mouth, dominating yours. When the two of you broke for air, you were panting. "Adam... I have to go back tomorrow, but... Is it wrong that--I mean, I won't, but... to even have to urge... Is it wrong that I wish I could stay with you?"

His response was to kiss you once more. It tugged at your heart that you could not stay with him forever.


	13. Devil's Love

13\. Devil's Love

Leaving Adam that second time was the hardest thing you had ever had to do. It hurt far worse than when the Innocence had fused with your optic nerve, when you had been forced to mourn for Smithsen. The life of an Exorcist could never be an easy one. To keep a family would mean to put them in danger everday from the Earl of Millennium. You could not drag Adam down that path. As agonizing as it was for you to walk out of his mansion and out of his life again, you knew it was ultimately the right thing. A part of you felt selfish for even having seen him again, for possibly giving him such false hope.

Sitting in the train along with your comrades, you stared at the window at the passing fields. You hardly reacted when there were flowers in view, whereas normally you would make a face of disgust. Your mind was too wrapped up in thoughts of the past. Was it strange, you wondered, that you fell in love at the age of ten? That nearly a decade later you still held such romantic feelings for that same man? A man much older than you. It hardly fazed you, the age difference.

You placed your hands in your lap, looking over when you were offered a snack. After considering it for several seconds, you accepted it. You tore open the package and slipped your hand inside to grab out a pretzel. You munched on the snack food, looking down at the floor of the train.

"Just a bust," one of the Finders said. The Exorcist who had accompanied you chuckled, shrugging and making a dismissive comment. Nerves were still on edge. Despite a rumor of Innocence in the town, not a single akuma had been spotted. Deep down, you were worried as well, however your excitement from having been able to visit Adam drowned out such negativity.

A thud on the top of your train car caused everyone to look up. The metal had dented the slightest bit. You furrowed your brow, glancing towards your fellow Exorcist. He had reached for his bag, in which he had placed his Innocence. A broadsword, rectangular, cut through the ceiling, impaling directly in the middle of the car. You pressed tightly against the back of your seat, same as the others in area. Pressing your feet firmly against the flat of the sword, you looked up at the hole in the ceiling.

The sword started to rotate. You quickly pulled your feet onto the seat, avoiding injury. Your fellow Exorcist had withdrawn his hand, his bag knocked off to the side by the weapon. A hole was created in the roof, large enough for the Millennium Earl to drop down. His back was to you. You felt yourself starting to tremble, your eyes widening. 

The golems your group had with you fluttered in the corners, recording the scene.

Nobody moved for several seconds. Judging from the expression on the other Exorcist's face, you could only imagine the look he was receiving from the Earl. Those abnormally long ears twitched when you released a shaky breath. He turned around slowly, his sword blocking the male Exorcist from grabbing the bag that contained his Innocence. The Earl laid eyes on you, and his grin widened.

You activated Noivi, causing his eyes to become accentuated by malice once more. You could not help but wonder why he hated _your_ Innocence so much; why he was so focused on _you_. "Good afternoon, (y/n)~"

You eyed the red heart string light, trying to get a feel of the situation. He was not making any move to attack. The Finders were on edge, the other Exorcist still eyeing the bag between glaring at the Earl of Millennium. You adjusted your glasses, pushing them up further on your face before tilting your head back. You met his eyes head-on.

"Don't give me that look~" You tried to relax your features, attempting to stop your glaring. It was hard, given the fact that this was your archenemy. "This is simply a curteousy call~"

"Curteousy?" you mimicked. He blinked, cocking his head to the side. "This isn't a game, Earl."

You flinched when he reached forward, his hand resting against your cheek. You grit your teeth. The man ran his fingers up and down gently. Bile started to rise in your throat; you could not help but remember what had happened the last time you had seen him.

"In one week, I'll be taking a trip to (___). Should the Order send its dogs, I'll kill them all~ Unless, of course, you'd be kind enough to join me." Your expression of horror caused his ears to droop the slightest bit. His cheeks were tinged pink. Perking back up, he continued on as though his moment of depression had not occured. "It's not Innocence I'm after there. But! _You_ might be interested in what calls me~"

Not once did he stop caressing your cheek until after he had finished speaking. The man withdrew his hand, his eyes falling to the bag the other Exorcist was eyeballing. You paled, as did the others in the train car. With a chuckle, the Earl of Millennium lifted Lero and exited the car with a quick farewell to you. His red light seemed to wrap around you, as though he were claiming you. It was rare that an individual's light was so full of life, but it had happened before. That the Earl's light, however, seemed to want to ensnare you horrified you.

Needless to say, those at the Order were stunned when they watched the film from the golems. You blanched when you watched the scenes yourself. The way the Earl looked at you. The way he blushed, smiled, and caressed you. You shuddered. A chill went up your spine when one of the visitors from Central released a thoughtful 'hmm'. It was beyond obvious: the devil himself had a crush on you.


	14. Risks

14\. Risks

In truth? You felt like a whore. The Order had decided it a risk worth taking, sending you to visit the foreign country with the Earl. His word that he had no intention of harming you should you accept the invitation had given Central enough to think over. In the end, they had decided to supply you with not one, but three golems. You task was to get as much footage of the Earl and his work as was possible. Two Finders were accompanying you, however they were in plainclothes and in a separate room from you at the hotel. It was almost as though you were still travelling alone.

Upon arriving at the hotel, you immediately went up to your room and chucked your bags on the bed. You glowered at the far wall. It was a horrible feeling, knowing that the Earl was in the same country as you--the same continent and planet, for that matter--when he obivously had a crush on you. You _loathed_ the man. After what he had done to your parents! What he had done to you when you were a child! How _dare_ he have a crush on you when he tried to _kill_ you so far back.

A sudden knock on the door roused you from your thoughts. You headed over to the door, opening it. You furrowed your brow. No one. There was not a single person standing in the hallway. As soon as you closed the door, the knocking resumed. You looked around, wondering if you were going crazy. Then it occured to you; the knock was coming from the window. You pressed your lips into a thin line, figuring it could only be one person.

You walked over to the window, brushing aside the curtain. You scowled as the large grin slipped into view. He was standing on the window ledge, Lero in his left hand as he tried to maintain his footing. You crossed your arms over your chest, eyed the lock on the window, and then looked back at the man. One of the Order's golems shifted into view, recording the scene. Cursing in the back of your head, you undid the lock and opened the window--but not the screen.

"Hello, (y/n)~"

"I'm really hoping you fall," you said bluntly. His ears drooped. The man shyly brought his right hand into view, presenting a box of chocolates to you. You glanced past your shoulder at the golem. "What do you want? Why did you invite me here?"

"May I come in~?" Another look towards the golem. Another swear, although this time it slipped past your lips. You opened the screen, stepped aside, and allowed the Noah patriarch to enter your hotel room. He pressed the box of chocolates into your hands, which instinctively wrapped around it despite your scowl. "I would have brought you roses, but I know how much you hate flowers~"

You grit your teeth. _He_ was the reason you despised florals. The Earl remained oblivious to your ire, twirling Lero around in a circle before releasing his golem. The pumpkin-headed umbrella shifted only two feet away from its master.

"I was worried you wouldn't come~"

"Cut the crap." The Earl's ears twitched. You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest once more and looking off to the side. "We've met only twice before. You--"

"It was more than twice~"

Your stomach churned at the memory of your first and second meeting with the Earl, back in your childhood. "That... This obsession you have with me is...revolting. You don't even know me."

"Don't say that~" He took a step towards you, and you flinched. "I've loved you for a long time, (y/n)~"

He had said it out loud. The very moment he uttered the 'L' word, your heart had fluttered and your stomach had done a flip before churning once more. You felt your cheeks heat up. It was embarassing, annoying--the way he was talking to you. As though you were not his enemy. The Millennium Earl watched as you set aside the chocolates he had given you. You stared at the box, shuddering a bit as his words repeated in your head.

"You tried to tear out my eyes--"

"Because I love you~"

You snarled. "I don't believe in love at first sight like that, Earl." He cocked his head to the side. You sighed, exasperated. "The moment you saw me, you tried to tear out my eyes. So, what--that first meeting, you decided that you--"

"Oh, no, (y/n)~" He chuckled. The sound caused your knees to quake. "I loved you _before_ that."

You whipped your head around, staring at him with your jaw dropped. You were horrified. "You sick, twisted pedophile!"

He released an embarrassed sound akin to a squawk, raising his hands in front of himself. "Not when I was completing the deal with your mother~" The red light and the hearts that accompanied them were once more starting to wrap around you. You tensed, nervous at the way it slid down your body. He sighed when you did not speak another word to him. Instead you were eyeing him suspciously. "I have errands to run for now; I merely wanted to give you that and say hello~"

He tipped his hat, caressed your cheek, and went out your window. Lero followed after its master, soon grabbed up by the Earl's hand. You slammed the window shut after he had gone. Gritting your teeth, you dropped to your knees and let the tears fall. There were not many, but enough to make a wet trail down your face.

_Hours later, in the late evening_

The hotel had an open ballroom that was used for socializing with other guests. To be inconspicuous, it had been previously agreed that you would meet the Finders there. Act like strangers, speak in code, and let them know that you were alright. You had dressed in a gown that accented your eyes and matching heels. After throwing up your hair into a nice style, you left your room and walked down the flights of stairs to the ground floor. Once there you immediately headed for the ballroom.

You caught sight of the pair almost straight away. Rather than go immediately to them, however, you chatted with a few of the guests. Made your rounds here and there before at last winding up at their sides. You greeted them as you had the strangers. They acted similarly, asking how you fared. You responded in clipped answers, stumbling for the right way to phrase things. Luckily, not a soul appeared to be paying attention to you and the two men.

After rendevousing with them, you socialized for several more minutes with others. On your way out the door, you paused. Among all the other lights in the room, those swirling colors, was a familiar string. Red with hearts. You turned, eyes wandering around. You could not see the Earl anywhere. He was large enough to stand out in a crowd, his hats always decorated so stupendously. Still, you could not find him. 

Allowing one last look around the room before turning, you froze. Across the way was a familiar face. Too familiar. You felt yourself sway. You gripped the edge of a table, steadying yourself. He smiled, nodding at whomever it was he was speaking with. His name escaped your lips as a whisper. 

You wove your way through the crowd, all the lights mingling. You could not tell which light belonged to whom, they were all a tangled mess. The Earl's light always found its way towards you. Your eyes widened when you were a foot away from the man. Your heart beat in your chest. The Earl was present. You knew of his feelings for you. Speaking to--that would put him in grave danger. Could you risk it? His life?

The man's eyes flicked over to you, returned to the individual in front of him, and then darted once more to you. His mouth remained open. You swallowed hard, walking over to him. "Adam." He nodded a single time. 

Lights continued to surround you. You tensed. The Earl's light had stopped. Was he watching you? You had to get Adam out of there before the Earl noticed you talking to him. For all you knew, the Earl of Millennium could be a jealous man. He obviously had no qualms over killing. You grabbed the end of Adam's sleeve, tugging lightly and asking him to follow you. Without uttering a word, he tipped his hat farewell to the other man he had been speaking with. 

Adam stumbled behind you. Your heart was racing in your chest. Please, you silently prayed, please don't let me get him killed.


	15. Legal

15\. Legal

He found it absolutely thrilled, that you had grabbed him and taken him out of the room. Adam was no fool; he was quite aware of the fact that you were attempting to protect him from--well, himself. He smiled fondly at the back of your head as you led him up the stairs. He wondered if you were going to take you to your room. His heart pounded at the thought. He remembered well the feel of your lips on his. Less than a week ago, you had kissed him. _You_ had sought him out. 

The man found himself raking his eyes up your body. Your comment from earlier--that he was a pedophile--filtered into his mind. He found his cheeks flushing. He _wasn't_. Though he had found you endearing as a child, there was nothing sexual. Even at the age of ten, you were pretty. He had thought you absolutely adorable. But then...then your body had started developing. He had found himself dreaming of you in his bed. Even now all he could think of was you leading him to your room, him bending you over across the bed and--his thoughts stopped abruptly at a sudden realization. You were legal. _Very much_ legal.

You glanced over your shoulder at him, a worried expression on your face. Oh, how badly he wanted to speak up, to tell you not to worry. Yet there remained the fact that for some reason--because of that damned Innocence--you could see vocals. He wondered what his looked like, wanted to ask you. Yet if he did, you would know. Adam, Earl of Millennium, had been around for a long time, and he well knew that his vocal light would be the same whether he was in human or Noah form. It pained him, not being able to talk to you.

His heart skipped a beat when you did indeed bring him to your room. The man watched you fumble with your room key. You pulled him inside, going over to the windows and closing each and every curtain. He bit back a wide grin. His eyes roamed over your body. That dress outlined you so clearly for him. When you returned to his side and opened your mouth to speak, he immediately claimed your lips with his. You tasted sweet--you had eaten the chocolates he had given you previously, even if you would never admit it. 

Biting back a moan lest he reveal himself to you, Adam placed his hands on your hips. He massaged you, allowing his thumbs to hook lower and lower. You were gasping into his mouth. He felt his cock throbbing. Adam walked you backwards, pressing you against the bed. You turned your face, panting out. He wasted no time, reaching around you and dragging down your zipper. The way you blushed so deeply, the way you put your hands on his chest and, with a nervous voice, asked him if it was okay--his pants had never felt so _tight_

Adam bit back a response, opting instead to kiss you once more. He relished in the fact that he was stripping you. That in a matter of seconds you were completely naked. His eyes hungrily roamed over your body. You looked ravishing. He tugged off his coat, his vest. His fingers quickly ran down his line of buttons. You pressed your legs together, knees grinding a moment as you fidgeted nervously. 

He had waited _years_ for this to happen. As he let the last articles of his clothing fall to the floor, he sighed in contentment. You were eyeing his manhood in awe, shock, and apprehension. Slight disgust, as was normal. The human body was a queer thing indeed. 

Adam rejoined you on the bed, leading you up towards the pillow. He laid your head down upon the plush, his mouth pressing against your collarbone. His kisses echoed in the room. You closed your eyes. His hands were running down your body, over every curve. His breathing was heavy with want. His cock hard. He rubbed himself against you, precum dripping from his manhood onto your pubic hair. You blushed, biting down on your bottom lip.

_~_

You were a bundle of nerves. You were having second thoughts, but not enough of them to stop this. You only worried that the Earl would find out--but he couldn't, right? You placed your hands on Adam's shoulders as he parted your legs gently. He was being so careful with you. You locked your thighs tight around him when he laid upon you. His cock brushed against your lower lips. You swallowed hard. In some ways, this was so different from how you had imagined your first time with him. In other ways, this was exactly right.

He cupped your breasts in his hands, leaning down and taking one mound into his mouth. You gasped at the feel of tongue teasing your nipple. He rocked his hips into yours, eliciting another moan. Adam kissed up your chest to your mouth, his tongue moving past your lips and dominating you as his hands gripped your hips and tugged you onto him. You whimpered as he broke past your hymen. Wincing, you felt tears stinging your eyes. It _hurt_. You gripped his shoulders as he rocked his hips up into yours. You knew the pain would pass. In the meantime, however, you squeezed your legs tighter against him.

Adam was panting above you, his mouth moving as though he wanted to say something to you but for some reason could not get the words out. He decided instead to kiss you again. Your eyes closed as his mouth moved up to them. He kissed your eyelids. "I love you, (y/n)~"

You opened your eyes, grabbing his cheeks between both of your hands and kissing him passionately. You arched into his touch, the pain in the lower portion of your anatomy beginning to ebb. It was replaced by a delightful sensation of friction that stimulated your body. Pleasure began building up within you.

"I love you, Adam," you choked out, pressing yourself tightly against him. He buried his face into the crook of your neck.

_~_

It made his heart flutter, hearing you say those words to him. Tears of joy sprang to his eyes. He thrust into you deeper, rolling his hips so that your clitoris was stimulated with every move. You gasped underneath him, your toes curling. He smiled down at you lovingly. All those years, all that waiting--it was worth it.

Adam propped himself up on his hands, increasing his pace. You were panting, moaning, and gasping. Your hips bucked up into his. Your swollen cunt grew slick with your juices. Your eyelids fluttered with each and every one of his powerful thrusts. His cock stroked you from the inside. One hand toyed with your chest. He shifted position, rolling so that you were on top of him and he was sitting on the bed. He thrust up into you, grabbing the back of your head and pulling your mouth onto his.

You were so tight around him. Your vaginal walls near pulsing as you grew closer to orgasm. Adam kissed you again and again, relishing in the sound of his name spilling from your lips in ecstasy. You were riding him, your pace off as you tried to keep up with him. Your innocence, your naivety was a beautiful thing. Adam thrust up into you one more time, breaking the dam that had built up in you.

_~_

Your entire world blurred as you got double-vision. "You're so beautiful," Adam said. His red light punctuated by hearts wrapped around you. You closed your eyes, continuing to rock your hips into his. Your jaw dropped. You rode out your orgasm, bringing him to his. Adam threw his head back, groaning in pleasure as he came.

He pressed your head against the pillows once more, gently laying you down. He hovered over you, kissing you. "I love you." His light continued to wrap around you.

You smiled, so relaxed underneath the man you loved. "I love you too." He smiled tenderly at you. 

Ever since you had become a woman of legal age, a number of men at the Order had tried to court you. You had turned them down each and every time. There was only one man to whom your heart belonged and he was--heart... You furrowed your brow. Shaking your head, you leaned up and kissed Adam once more. No, you must have imagined it.


	16. Video Drama

16\. Video Drama

You were still laying on the bed with Adam several minutes later, your head on his chest. You could hear his heartbeat, which nearly drowned out the sounds of the golems fluttering about. Your eyes shot open. Your head whipped in the direction of the closest golem. It was recording you. Just as the Order had set it up to do. You turned, quickly locating the other two. All were at different angles. All, no doubt, had just recorded you losing your virginity. You gulped, your cheeks heating up to a dark red.

You pushed off of Adam, freaking out in your mind. Adam chuckled, grabbing your forearms and dragging you back to himself. You opened your mouth to protest, only to be cut off by him kissing you. Your toes curled as his tongue ran along the roof of your mouth before stroking yours. You ran your hand along his chin stubble. The golems were the last things on your mind as he rolled you onto your back and thrust inside of you again. You were once more gasping and moaning out in pleasure as he made love to you.

Hickeys adorned your neck, your chestline. You weakly rose from the bed. Your feet pattered across the floor as you made your way to the first golem. Adam cocked his head to the side, watching your naked body as you swore and grabbed up the device to which you could connect the golem. It was not uncommon for those in the Order to forget about the golems' presence and strip down to change their clothes. Thus the Order had implemented a backup measure to ensure minor privacy. There was an overwrite feature to erase those images. 

Your fingers clicked across the keyboard as you knelt on the floor. Just as you were about to delete the video, Adam sat behind you and placed his hand over yours. He kissed your cheek, his eyes peering at the image on the screen. You shyly hit the play button, watching as Adam stripped you down and took your virginity. It was a relief whenever you watched videos; you did not have to endure strings of light filtering into your view. It was erotic, watchng yourself on the screen. Watching Adam's body move.

After you watched the entirety of the video, you deleted that portion. You grabbed the next golem, once more indugling Adam's desire to watch the moment, this time from another angle. The two of you watched all three before deleting them. You felt yourself growing wet, gasping when he slipped a hand between your legs as you and he watched the final video. He fingered you, rubbing your clit after smearing your juices all about your lower lips. You squirmed, so glad you had put the other two golems on a delay to start recording again unless you gave the correct verbal command for otherwise.

You moaned out his name in orgasm shortly before deleting that final video. He was grinning at you, sucking on the finger that had previously been inside of you. Biting on your bottom lip, you set the third golem on a delay as well.

You sat in front of Adam, burying your face against his chest. You inhaled his scent. He smelled sweet, a bit musky, and his cologne proved only to bring out a more arousing scent. "Adam... I... You should go." You looked up at his face, not surprised to see both a confused and pained expression there. "There's this guy...he's dangerous, and... I'd hate for you to get hurt." He sighed, caressing your cheek. "I...love you...too much."

"I love you too," he said immediately, his heart fluttering. Then he froze. You, also, tensed. That red light. Those hearts. Wrapping around you as though claiming you. You shook your head. It couldn't be. That was impossible. But the way he was watching you said it all.

Your hand covered your mouth. You felt sick. Physically ill. You choked out a sob, tears springing to your eyes. No. The man you loved couldn't be...he couldn't be that loathed man, the one who had turned your father into an akuma that killed your mother. The one who had tried to pry out your eyes. But then--it all made sense. His farewell to you when you had been chosen by the Order. His reaction to the Innocence.

You pushed away from him, grabbing the first article of clothing that you could reach--his coat. You slid your arms through the sleeves, fingers quickly working up the buttons. Adam appeared genuinely apologetic, and that made it worse. You glanced at the first golem. Opening your mouth, you screamed into his hand, which had slammed over your lips--his speed was incredible. There wasn't even a trace of doubt in your mind now. Adam, the love of your life, was the Millennium Earl.

He spared a look at the three golems flying around the room then settled his gaze on your face. Adam searced your face, judging your terrified expression. His eyes at last settled on yours. He narrowed his eyes, no doubt disgusted by the Innocence that you now carried. He slowly allowed his hand to slip from your mouth. The man waited, staring at you expectantly.

"How...could...you..." You could hardly breathe. Your mind was reeling. The world around you felt as though it were tilting back and forth, rocking like a ship on water. It made you nauseous.

In response, Adam pressed his lips tenderly to yours. You closed your eyes, quietly sobbing and shaking. "I love you." 

You put your hand over his mouth. "Don't. Please...just...shut up. Go. Get away from me. Get away from me, Adam!" You were practically screaming, shrieking out the words. You collapsed to your knees, sobbing into your hands. Adam knelt down as well, his knees on either side of you. The man gathered you up in his arms. His chin rested atop your head. It felt so right. It felt so wrong. "God... I... _Please_ , Adam. Please just...go..."

He sighed, tilting your head back and giving you one last kiss. The man reluctantly moved away from you, pulling on his clothing. He left you in his coat, walking out of the room. 

You wondered _why_ it had to end up this way. That your first time at sex was both magical and revolting. You did not even know what to think. Your eyes throbbed. Allowing your eyelids to descend, you pressed your fingertips against them--could the Innocence sense your feelings for Adam, for the Earl of Millennium? Did Noivi know that you could never completely hate the Earl any longer? That, no matter what, a small portion of you would always love him.


	17. Motives are Ulterior

17\. Motives are Ulterior

A newspaper was delivered to each room in the morning. You slunk to your door, grabbed up the paper, and returned inside. You dressed in the bathroom after showering, out of sight of the golems. Once you were ready for day, you at long last picked up the paper and read the headlines. War. You swallowed thickly, eyes narrowing. War had been delcared between two countries. Minister Kamelot had issued a warning that tourists from the opposing country had forty-eight hours to leave before arrests would be made under suspicion of terrorist activities. You shook your head.

It was not only the countless deaths of innocents that made you hate war, or the destruction it wrought. It was also the akuma that were easily created by those in mourning. Was _this_ why the Earl--Adam--had invited you to come? Or was it merely to get into your bed, as he had already?

You chucked the paper off to the side, gritting your teeth. After snatching up one of the golems, you plugged it in to the telephone that was issued to each room. Contacting the Order was, thankfully, an easy enough task. When your superior answered, you immediately said, "A war--"

"We heard," the man replied, cutting you off. "Are you safe?"

"I... I don't know. I saw the Earl, but..." But he was the man you also loved. But he had a human form. But you did not know what to do anymore. You could not complete your sentence, your mind wrapped up in too many thoughts and emotions. "How much longer do I have to stay here...sir?"

"The room is booked through tomorrow. Unless you believe yourself to be in immediate danger, it would benefit the Order for you to remain. Any information on the Earl could--"

"I got it. I...I understand." You hung up before he could say anything else. You sat on the ground, releasing the golem so that it could once more record any abnormal activity. A sharp knock on the door caused you to sigh and rise. Walking over to the door, you grumbled to yourself. You weren't stupid. You knew damn well who it was. You undid the lock and whipped the door open. "What do you want? To gloat? I don't want to hear--"

"Good morning, (y/n)~" You felt bile rise up in your throat. This was Adam. This grotesque gentleman was the same man who had been in your bed the previous night. You moved aside, permitting him entrance yet refusing to respond. "I've ordered room service already. I hope you're hungry~"

You looked at him incredulously. Just _what_ did he think he was doing? You were an Exorcist! Your history with him did not erase that; in fact, it only fueled your anger and hurt. Yet the man seemed completely oblivious to this. He turned around, cocking his head to the side. The Earl ran his eyes up and down your body. You felt naked under his gaze, violated. Crossing your arms over your chest, you moved across the room towards a small table at which two chairs were situated. You sat down. The Earl took the seat across from you, despite your looks of disgust.

It hardly registered in your brain that you had activated Noivi as a knee-jerk reaction until you noticed the Millennium Earl's agitation. You averted your gaze, opting to not de-activate your Innocence. His light, though it had previosly wrapped around you as it was wont to do, had at last faded. You relaxed the slightest bit at that fact. 

The two of you sat in silence, the golems flapping around, recording the Earl, until room service knocked on the door. The Millennium Earl permitted the young man entrance. The cart was rolled over to the table and plattered of food were placed on. Some plates still remained on the cart, which was set beside the table. The young man then left, asking to be called when the two of you were done eating. He did eye the Earl strangely, no doubt finding his appearance bizarre, before leaving.

The Earl of Millennium sat in his chair once more, eyeing the food with delight. Pancakes. Eggs. Toast. Bacon. Sausage. You weren't sure exactly what else there was. You hardly cared. Though your stomach gave a figurative nudge to alert you of hunger, you refused to even pick up a fork. The man across from you cut a bite out of his pancakes, the food disappearing behind that ever-present grin.

After swallowing the pancakes, the Earl cocked his head to the side and studied you. "You should eat, (y/n)~" His light snaked over to you, the heart at its end practically caressing your flesh. You pulled your hand away from it. "What does it look like~?"

"Revolting," you said with a snarl.

His ears drooped. "Don't say that~"

"Well. If you honestly must know, it's red with hearts at the end of your sentences. Are you satisfied now?"

The Earl reached forward, placing his hand atop yours. You tensed. Your chest felt tight; part of you wanted to say his name--his _real_ name--so that the golems, and thus the Order, could hear. Another part of you wanted to keep him safe. Your eyes throbbed once more. You felt the beginnings of a migraine. You pulled your hand out from under his, resting your fingers against your forehead. Standing from the table, you walked over to the bed and retrieved your glasses out of your bag. You placed them on your face before returning to the table. This time, you kept your hands in your lap.

"You must be so happy--this war."

"I am~" He sounded delighted that you were having a conversation with him despite your foul mood. You shook your head, your lips pressed firmly together. How could he? "It's always fun when the Order can't do a thing about it~"

Your eyes settled on him. You implemented Noivi's ability, wrapping your fingers around the Earl's light, which had found its way once more to you. Though you did not tug at the strands, you kept a firm grip on the heart strings.

"Did you invite me here just to gloat?"

"No." He scooped up a bite of eggs with his fork, force-feeding you. You bit back the urge to spit the eggs back in his face. You swallowed down the bite as he spoke. "I wanted to see you. I always miss you when we aren't together~"

"We're _never_ together...not like that." The glint in his eye made your stomach flip. Images from the previous night rolled in your mind. "Besides...you want to tear out my eyes still." He made a hum of agreement. "I can hardly look at you as it is." The Earl chuckled darkly at the pun. " _Why_ did you invite me here?"

The Millennium Earl perked up, humming around his bite of bacon. After swallowing, he replied cheerfully, "Why, to make love to you, of course~"

You blanched. The golems were fluttering around, recording for the Order this moment. You felt your entire body tensing. You unwittingly tugged on the Earl's light, causing him to cough. The man reached across the table, dark matter surrounding his fingers as he pressed towards your eyes. Yelping, you unravelled his light from you and threw yourself to the ground. 

The Millennium Earl stood from the table, rounding the cart and walking over to you. You locked your knees, trying to steady yourself. All he had to do to defeat you was keep quiet. Which, given the man's adoration for being the center of attention, was not necessarily an easy task for him. 

"I'm...sorry. I just..." You hardly knew why you were apologizing. What you did know was that the Order _needed_ this. They needed your Innocence to not be destroyed. They needed as much information on the Earl as possible. You had to swallow down your pride and hurt. The throbbing in your eyes died down, as though Noivi could understand your pain. Could understand why you were about to do something that would have otherwise been a betrayal to the Innocence. "I'm...scared."

"Don't be~" The anger and malice had dispersed. The Earl of Millennium squatted down in front of you, setting a hand on your thigh and gently rubbing. "You're so pretty, (y/n)~"

His light was traveling up your legs, wrapping around his hips. The man's hands soon followed. You averted your gaze, somewhat thankful that his large body was blocking the golems from getting a good view of what he was doing. That he had removed one glove and slipped a finger between your legs. That he dipped that digit into your panties and started to fuck you with it. Your jaw fell slack, your lips parting. You shifted at his touch.

"I-if I let you do this...I want..."

"Payment~" the Earl said. "Information for the Order~? You have ulterior motives for letting me in you, (y/n), not because you _love_ me too?" He was growing agitated once more.

You squeezed your eyes closed. "It's the least you could do, A--Earl."

His finger paused in its actions of rubbing your clit. He turned his head, peering at one of the golems that was fluttering around. "I don't want to look at your Innocence anymore, (y/n)~" Gritting your teeth, you obliged and de-activated Noivi. The Earl's grin widened. He inserted another finger into your panties, fucking you with one while with the other he pleasured your clit. "I'll tell you this, I did have a hand in starting this war~"

You shuddered. If he was this influential with certain politicians, the Order needed to be extra careful. You felt your toes curling, your body responding to the stimulation. The Millennium Earl grabbed your hip with his free hand, dragging you closer to his body. You closed your eyes, tears forming in their corners. You felt sick, betrayed. It was one thing when he had made love to you in his human form, even if he was still the Earl. But to do this, in _this_ form...it hurt.

"Don't cry, (y/n)~" His creaky voice had a tinge of sympathy. He shifted his fingers, flicking your clit in a way that had you bucking up into his touch. "I'll make it all up to you~"

"There is _nothing_ you could ever do," you said in both anger and pain. You bit back a sob, releasing a shaky breath. "Nothing..."

The Earl increased his pace. You were gasping, panting. "I'll allow you to use your Innocence on a certain akuma~ Your...father~"

Your eyes shot open then closed again as you threw back your head in orgasm. The Earl yanked down your pants, still obstructing you from the golems' view. He undid his pants, grabbing up your legs and wrapped them around him as best he could. With his back to the golems, he allowed the front of his Noah skin to split. Your eyes widened as Adam entered you. His hands were touching you delicately. 

"W-why would you...?" What reason did he have to do something like that? The Earl of Millennium _always_ had ulterior motives. He did not just bring back your loved one from the grave; he turned them into akuma. A seemingly nice gesture could be malicious in the end.

Adam placed his mouth by your ear so that the golems could not pick up his voice.

"Because I love you, (y/n)~"


	18. Feedback

18\. Feedback

He made love to you as Adam. Then, after petting you and making you squirm under him, he pushed inside of you while in his Noah skin. His hands held your wrists above your head. The Millennium Earl shifted so that he was sitting and you were in his lap. You closed your eyes, wincing at the thought that the golems now had a good view of your face. His hands shielded the rest of your body from view. After he came inside of you the second time, the Millennium Earl dressed you then himself. All the while he kept your body out of the golem's view. You could hardly look at him.

It was not until the next day that you saw him again, and this time he brought the akuma dressed in your mother's skin. You dropped to your knees, sobbing at the sight. You felt sick. Your world was spinning. It took you several minutes before his words registered in your head. He was on a time limit. You needed to destroy the akuma now or never. The disgust in his voice was not hidden.

You activated your Innocence, grasping the akuma's vocal light when it was ordered by the Earl to speak. And you did it. You destroyed the akuma your mother had created, setting free your father's soul. The Earl glared at the sight of its destruction, obviously angered by it despite the fact that he had given you permission to do so. Once Noivi was no longer active, however, his cheeks got a rosy hue. He yet again declared his love for you. Right before he left, he turned around.

"Oh~ Before I go, I've decided to grant you one more gift." You felt your stomach flip with worry. You stared at the Earl, who turned an irritated gaze onto one of the golems. "I _know_ the location of two Finder camps. Guess which one, and perhaps you'll save some lives~"

With that, and with one last, embarassed 'I love you, (y/n)~', the Earl of Millennium left. You rejoined the two Finders then started on your way back to headquarters. You immediately told the individual from Central of your sexual tryst with the Earl before he watched. He clenched his jaw, eyeing you with suspicion although he agreed that the two of you should watch the video in private for the time being.

You sat beside him. He jotted down notes when the Earl made his comment about the war, then tensed at that final message the Earl revealed. He yanked up the phone, dialing the number and speaking to Central immediately. 

You were dismissed whilst he was still on the phone. They were trying to figure out just which two Finder camps the Earl was speaking of. You ran a hand through your hair, pacing. Adjusted your glasses a number of times. It was only after the man from Central and Komui approached you, more than five hours later, that you stilled. Your nerves were all in a jumble.

"One of the camps was destroyed already," the man said. You swallowed thickly, feeling sick. "But the other we managed to evacuate." Your mouth opened. Your world spun. You felt...almost relieved. "It was... The sacrifice you made--we at Central are thankful." No judgment. No disgust over the fact that you had had sex with the Earl of Millennium, the Order's archenemy. Just relief and sincere gratitude that hundreds of their members had been spared. It was a strange way indeed to receive positive feedback from Central. Ironic even.


	19. Cat and Mouse

19\. Cat and Mouse

It became a game for the Earl. Your entire existence in the Order was nothing more than entertainment for him. You would not meet him on every mission you were sent, however whenever he appeared it was always in a showy manner. A few times he would float down from the sky. Once or twice he would pop out of presumably nowhere, a giftbox or bag in his hands--occasionally chocolates. The one time he had brought a bottle of wine, you grabbed it and hit him in the head with it.

Your comrades were always both amused and disgusted by the Earl's behavior. The Millennium Earl had always been a dramatic fellow, however his sexual interest in you took the cake.

He had just pushed one of the Finders you were with into the wall, causing the man to release a shout of pain as his nose broke against the brick. Your eyes were still wide behind your glasses, the chocolates being forced into your hands and his face practically in yours. You tilted your head back, avoiding contact as much as possible. Every time--every _damn_ time--he had you blushing no matter how much you hated him. You looked over at the Finder, who was adjusting his nose and looking around for any akuma. It seemed the Noah had not yet summoned any.

"Good evening, (y/n)~" He caressed your cheek with a single gloved hand that then ventured downwards towards your chest. 

You jerked away from him, breaking contact. "Earl," you said curtly.

"I've come to destroy your Innocence~" The same as always. These lines the two of you would speak. Sometimes paraphrased. Other times identical.

It all wound up the same. You activating Noivi, and with your fellow Exorcists destroying the akuma he would summon. Fending him off as multiple times he reached for your eyes, dark matter surrounding his fingers. You ducked under his reach, grabbing the heart at the end of the string, which had started to disappear. You twirled it around your finger, wrapping it around his wrist then rolling under him--between his legs. The Earl was flipped upside down, crashing into the ground.

The Millennium Earl twisted, rising from the ground. Anger filled his face. His top hat had fallen, revealing his horns. You shuddered at the sight. He truly looked like the devil now. "You're getting faster~"

Before you could grab up his light, the Earl rushed forward and snatched up both of your wrists in his hands. You whimpered at the pressure he exerted. You could feel your bones starting to protest.

"Nnn..." He opened his fingers, allowing you to drop to the ground. 

The Earl dodged the General's attack, leaping up onto the roof of a building. He balanced on just his toes of a single foot, glaring down at the assailant. Then, with a farewell to you, he left. A number of akuma distracted every one long enough for him to complete his departure. You screamed inside your head, hating the fact that he had gotten so close to you.

When the battle was done, you grabbed up the box of chocolates. As always, you spared a glance in the direction of the nearest dumpster. You would make a show of walking over there. Without your comrades' noticing, however, you would allow yourself to take at least five of the chocolates--the ones with your favorite fillings--out and plopped them into your pocket before discarding the box.

You pretended to yourself that you were not a mouse taking the cat's bait. That you weren't still harboring feelings for Adam, even if he was the Earl. You were _trying_ to hate him, or to at least choke down your strong feelings for him. But, more and more, your migraines were increasing as your lies started to sound fake even to your own mind.


	20. Freefalling

20\. Freefalling

It takes just a single moment, and your life is suddenly changed forever. An irreversible alteration that you cannot fight nor challenge. There is no trial, no judge or jury. Merely a single word or action, and bam. Here you are, handed the result. You were no exception.

When you visited your foster parents on your next trip to your hometown, they were surprsied by how much you had grown. You humored your mother, allowing her to take pictures and even buy you a new dress. You wore it immediately, feeling quite touched that she continued to harbor maternal feelings for you. Your foster father, too, showed his love for you in a way. He purchased a hairpiece that complimented the dress. This you wore as well.

Your comrades respected your decision to spend the night with your foster family. Your mother had set up the spare bedroom for you, and your father ensured you had enough blankets to remain comfortable. After dining with them and retiring to your room, you found yourself unable to sleep. You stared up at the ceiling. 

It was strange, knowing that Adam--the Millennium Earl--had his house here. That your comrades could be in danger. You rolled onto your side, eyeballing the telephone and the golem you had set up beside it. Should you call? 

You swallowed, gritting your teeth. He was most likely already aware of your presence. Everyone in town had been pleased to see you, some well aware of the fact that you were visiting even before you saw them. You stood up from bed, pulling on the dress once more and tucking your hair back with the hairpiece your father had purchased. You turned off the golem, having it stay behind in the room.

Sneaking out of your house at night was a bizarre thing indeed, given the fact that you were of legal age and also an Exorcist. You did not know quite why you didn't just tell your mother and father that you were going out. Part of you reasoned that you did not want them to worry. Plus, no doubt, they would likely ask you where you were headed.

You tucked your arms into your coat, hailing a carriage to take you to Adam's residence. The driver accepted payment after dropping you off, tipped his hat to you, and left. You had previously told him that he did not have to wait.

Walking down the path of the front garden, you once more found yourself avoiding any flowers that were present. You made your way to the porch, knocking on the door. There was no answer. You stood there for several seconds, wondering if perhaps the entire household was asleep. Or maybe he was not even home? He could be in some foreign country, killing and destroying. Your heart lurched and your stomach churned.

You knocked once more, this time louder. It took a full minute before the household butler answered the door. He looked at you indifferently. You narrowed your eyes. He did not appear to have aged a day--was he an akuma? It would make sense, given Adam's true identity. 

"I... May I speak with Adam?"

The man blinked a single time. "The master is not feeling well tonight. He has retired to bed and--"

"Forget it." Maybe the man _wasn't_ an akuma, you thought, after easily shoving him off to the side and barging into the house. As it was, you did not care all that much. All you wanted to do was speak to Adam, to ensure the safety of your comrades. You were not visiting under a rumor of Innocence; it was for some other technology the Black Order was developing.

Your heels clicked against the steps of the staircase. The butler had not tried to pursue you. You had heard the door close but then nothing more. You made your way through the various hallways, getting lost a number of times. You sighed to yourself. Why someone needed a house so large when he was away often, you hadn't the slightest clue.

Fingers trailing along the wall, you rounded a corner. Yet another hallway greeted you. Like the others before it the hallway was long and harbored a countless number of doorways. The one at the end, however, was large. Decorated nicely. You recognized it to be Adam's bedroom and breathed a sigh of relief. Your footsteps once more echoed through the building as you crossed the hall and stood before the bedroom door.

Should you knock or should you intrude? These questions you weighed in your mind before at last settling to open the door and peek inside. 

A hoarse cough followed by sniffling caught your attention. You reached over, flicking on the light switch as you stepped into the room and closed the door behind yourself. Adam, sitting up in bed with a tissue in hand, winced and squinted at the sudden brightness. He turned his head, glaring until he realized it was you. His features softened. The man coughed into his fist, dabbing his nose and turning away. 

Your eyes widened and your eyebrows raised. Well, well. The man was legitimately sick--wait, the Earl could catch a cold? You blinked, slowly walking over to the side of the bed. Adam spoke to you, his voice warped and hoarse from his current ailment, "I'm contagious."

"Did you take anything for it yet?" You furrowed your brow then, not quite sure why you had asked him. Adam looked equally puzzled at your inquiry. He looked at you, his pink cheeks reddening further. The man opened his mouth to respond but instead fell into a coughing fit.

You sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his back soothingly. It hurt you to watch him go through this. In the back of your mind, yes, you remembered quite well this man was the Millennium Earl. You remembered vividly what he had done to you as a child--to your mother and father--and could only picture how many others had fallen victim to his charm. And yet, even still, you could not forget his kindness. His love. And _your_ love.

Your head was throbbing, a migraine starting to form. You wished you had remembered to bring your glasses with you on this venture. Alas, you hadn't. Holding a hand against your forehead, you touched his hand. It was warm. The man was running a fever.

"Adam, do you want me to turn off the light?"

"No. Keep it on." He grabbed up a glass of water from the bedside table, nursing it to soothe his sore throat. You noticed the pills and bottles of liquid medications littered there. So he had taken medications already. "I... Seeing you makes me feel tons better, (y/n)."

Your cheeks heated up. You dropped your gaze to your lap. _Why_ did he have to be such a charmer? "Adam, I... My comrades--"

"I'm sick in bed~"

You raised your gaze, meeting his puffy-eyes with yours. "You have an army of akuma."

He sighed, scooting down into a laying position. Adam laid his head against the pillow, relaxing. He stared up at you the entire time. You looked down at him, trying to focus but finding your vision going blurry and fuzzy every few seconds. Your growing migraine was starting to make your eyes throb in pain. Adam placed his hand atop yours.

"I won't do that to you, (y/n). I love you."

And, without even thinking about it, you replied truthfully, "I love you too, Adam."

He inhaled sharply, his eyes widening. His cheeks flushed. Your world started to spin. The pain was increasing. Adam sat up, pulling you into a loving embrace. Your hands went to your eyes. And then...you started screaming. 

_~_

The sound was like nails on a chalkboard. Had you just lied? He felt his heart starting to plummet. Adam backed away, preparing himself for the worse. Preparing himself for the moment you decided you hated him. He looked at you headon and--froze. His heart skipped a beat. He felt ill, and not just from the stomach virus and cold he was suffering from. It was not often he saw such a sight, and this time he wished he hadn't.

Your fingers were pressed so tightly against the flesh of your face. No doubt your eyes were burning. Adam grabbed at your wrists, trying to move your hands out of the way. You shook your head, screaming again and again. Over and over. That heart-wrenching sound.

Adam cursed himself, hating the Innocence all the more as he watched you, because of your genuine love for him, enemy of the Innocence--falling.


	21. Blinded by Love

21\. Blinded by Love

It was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. Hold you down while you were screaming. Stuff something into your mouth to keep you from biting off your own tongue. The Earl of Millennium wrapped his fingers in dark matter, as he had so many times before. He grabbed up your arms, pinning them under himself as he straddled your chest. Your legs kicked. Your body convulsed. The Innocence was turning on you as you continued your descent towards becoming a fallen one.

Though he had tried to do so many times before, this time was different. Adam felt ill--not just from his current ailment--when he pried apart your eyelids with two fingers from the hand that did not have dark matter. He slipped the digits that were covered in that dark-purpled light towards your eye, which shined with the Innocence's glow. Noivi gained a strange, angry tint. The Millennium Earl plunged his finger into your eye. You screamed even louder around the gag. This new pain mingled with the one you were already experiencing. You convulsed and thrashed on the bed.

The juices of your eye popped as Adam dislodged the ball from the socket. He crushed the orb, the dark matter destroying the Innocence that had previously fused with your optic nerve.

You swung your head, blood leaking down your face. He helped you to roll over a little as he did the same thing with your other eye. Popping it out. Crushing it. Adam winced as he did so. He broke down in a coughing fit as your body trembled. His legs he brought closer together, keeping you pinned down. Your hands were instinctively attempting to move to your empty eye sockets. There was still blood leaking. He had tried his hardest to avoid damaging anything more than necessary, however--he did not have the Noah of Pleasure's ability at his disposal.

Adam brought you up into his arms, removing the gag and rushing from the room. He was still coughing, his lungs attempting to recover from the vigorous activities as he carried you down the stairs. His shouts of 'call the doctor' and 'get the damn doctor here' were immediately obeyed by his servants--those who were akuma and those who were human alike.

Blankets and pillows were brought over. He restrained your hands behind your back with one of the blankets. You were in shock, your mind no doubt still reeling from both the Innocence's rejection and your optic loss.

_~_

You could feel his lips on yours, on your forehead, but you could not see him. You couldn't see anything! There was just pain and panic. Your nails scratched against the ground underneath them. You turned your head this way and that on the pillow. You kept releasing light whimpers, occasional yelps, and sometimes screams. A sob wracked your frame. Adam helped you onto your side as you vomited.

The smell of your own spew was nauseating. You convulsed a few times, listening to Adam speaking. You could not comprehend his words. His voice was enough, though. Even if you couldn't see his light. You sobbed-- _why_ couldn't you see his light? What was going on? All you knew was that there had been pain. Immense pain. Then he was on top of you. Everything else was a blur and darkness.

Your heart beat rapidly in your chest. You cried out, the heels of your feet digging into the ground then sliding along the tile. Blankets were thrust underneath them, preventing you from dragging yourself along the floor.

"What's happening? What...what... Adam?"

_~_

His heart _ached_ at the sound of your voice. The way it was laced with agony and terror. He placed a hand on your cheek, gently shushing you. He could see the doctor's movements from his various akumas' eyes. The man was coming, was nearly there.

Adam coughed once more into his fist, blowing snot into a tissue that had been provided him by one of the servants. When he once more regained his breath, he said, "You were...falling."

You stilled for a fraction of a second, your mind no doubt processing the information. You grit your teeth, releasing a sound of such pain and betrayal. "But...I..." You swallowed, no doubt attempting to wet your mouth. "Because...I love...you?"

"Yes," he said, nearly sobbing at the use of present tense. He had so feared that you would hate and despise him for what he'd had to do. "(Y/n), I--"

"You...you took...you destroyed...."

"I'm so--"

"My eyes?"

"--sorry."

Your bottom lip trembled. The doctor burst into the house, rushing over to you. He nodded at Duke Millennium. He immediately brought out his tools. His medications. Syringes. Needles. Thread. Half of the items the Millennium Earl did not recognize despite his age. He merely stared, mouth agape, as he watched the doctor shift to view your empty sockets.


	22. Adjustments

22\. Adjustments

When the Order discharged you, you were hardly surprised. You were a blind woman with no Innocence. No one knew the absolute truth, however, that Adam was the Earl. Or that he had ripped your eyes from you--or, most importantly, that you had become a fallen one. You did not have to leave your foster parents' home once. A representative of Central had come to give you the papers, to read them for you. You had sat there on your bed, listening. There were bandages around where your eyes would have been.

Your other senses were kicking into high gear now that you could no longer see. It had been over a month since your eyes had been removed, yet still you had not gotten used to the increase of your other senses. What was strangest for you was not being able to see vocal lights. Whenever Adam would sit beside your bed and sob--you and he had not uttered a word to one another since that day--you strained, wondering if somehow you would again see that red heart string. Deep down, however, you knew the truth.

When you were left completely alone, you would try your hand at walking. Your sense of balance was off. You crashed into things on occasion. Still, you always managed to return to bed before anyone wandered into your room to sit with you.

Adam was once more sobbing whilst sitting on a chair by your bed. You imagined his hands were in his lap, balled up as they had been so many times before. Reaching over, you attempted to grab them. Only to find that they weren't there. You frowned, feeling up his leg in search for those limbs. Adam gasped and dropped his hands to yours, lifting them up, when you mistakenly groped him.

"You don't have to cry," you said, your face tinged pink. "It's just...a long adjustment period. I would have... It was different than the other times when you tired to take away my eyes. I would have died...killing who knows how many people in the process. I _hate_ that it happened, but... I don't blame you, Adam."

He sniffled, pressing his lips against your hands. When he spoke, he was mumbling against them. Still, you were able to make out each and every word. "Yesterday your mother said you didn't want to _see_ me."

You laughed, both bitterly and full of genuine amusement. You did not have to be able to see to know that Adam winced upon realizing his wording. You smiled widely. "I was feeling nauseous again. I didn't want to see--err...visit with anyone. I like it when you come. Everyone else always brings flowers. They know I don't like them, but act like just because I can't _see_ them, it makes things okay. I can still smell them."

Adam sniffled once more. "You like visiting me?"

"You bring delicious chocolates."

"You like...the chocolates?"

"Uh-huh." Your hands were once more exploring, this time touching his face. He did not move, allowing you to get a feel for him. Your fingers lingered around his mouth. "Are you frowning? Oh! Adam, you're such a baby! I don't just like you because of the chocolates."

Adam sighed, moving onto the bed with you. You kept a hand on his tie, comfortable knowing where he was at all times. The man wrapped an arm around you. A month ago, you had tensed every time he had done so. Now it felt more natural. Like it had before you had become an Exorcist. 

"Are you sure you're adjusting alright, (y/n)?"

"Yeah," you said with a sigh. You doubted you sounded convincing. "But... I keep crashing into things when I try to walk. And...I want to go outside."

"I could..." Adam cleared his throat. You imagined he was blushing. Naturally, you turned your head to look. You paused, your face neutral. "Are you alright?" You nodded, patting his hand comfortingly. "I was going to offer to... That is to say, if I leant you my arm, we could go for a small stroll in your backyard."

"I would...like that very much."

~

You held firmly onto his arm as he led you to the hallway. The man paused, leading your hand to a portion of the wall so that you could keep your balance. You heard him rummaging around, no doubt moving flowers away. Your foster parents did not have the heart to throw them out, knowing guests would inquire as to their location. When things fell silent, you twisted your torso. You felt around with your free hand, accidentally hitting something. You heard Adam fumbling to catch hold of the top of the staircase. He was successful. You could almost imagine the acrobatic moves he had executed to achieve that feat.

"Sorry," you muttered out, your cheeks turning rosy. "I didn't see...uh..."

"It's alright," he fumbled out awkwardly, once more taking your arm up in his. You held tightly onto him, allowing him to take you down the stairs step by single step. You would slide your heel along the edge of the step, placing it onto the next one before repeating. Adam was moving slowly as well, rubbing your hand affectionately.

You smiled when the two of you arrived on the first floor. Adam walked you to the backdoor, which he slid open, and took you outside. The smell of fresh air hit you like a saving grace. You released an excited squeak, latching onto Adam more tightly. He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. The man leaned down, catching your lips with his. You parted your lips when he pried at them with his tongue, permitting him entrance.

You and he walked through the backyard for quite some time that day.

Two months elapsed. You were at last accustomed to your heightened senses, and were able to use a walking stick to get around. From time to time you set it off to the side when in familiar locations, not needing it. As a celebration of this feat, Adam had invited you to his home. Your foster parents had wanted to throw a mini celebration, and Duke Millennium had been kind enough to offer his mansion as the location. A number of people were to attend, however all you cared about was that Adam would be there with you.

Your mother told you the color of your dresses as you felt along their material to see which design you best liked. After selecting a modest lavender dress with a v-cut neck, you dressed and allowed your mother to apply a light layer of make-up.

Your father, mother and you shared a carriage. Arriving at the mansion, you sought out Adam almost immediately. Other guests you greeted politely but dismissively. They took little offense; news of Adam's attention to you had spread during the past three months. He wrapped his arms around you. You knew it was him; his scent, the feel of his arms. His hands. You did not need to see his red heart strings to know who he was. You had found yourself able to sense his presence so easily.

You rested your head against his chest. Though public displays of affection were generally frowned upon, you did not care. It was not as though you could see the scandalous looks. The words, sure you could hear. But, when it came down to it, you did not really care. What you knew was that Adam had caught you when you were falling, had saved you. He had never once stopped loving you, even when you had sided with the Innocence, his worst enemy.

Adam took up your hand, leading you away from the crowd after you chatted with several people. You tried to place a face to each voice yet found yourself only remembering roughly half of them. You were standing on the balcony with him. You could tell this by the light breeze. There were no flowers anymore. Any florals Adam had had removed. It caused your heart to flutter, the way he was changing his lifestyle to fit you into it.

You reached for Adam's hand. "Pick...pick _one_ flower. Your favorite. And I'll love it forever. Just that one."

Adam released a startled gasp. He grabbed up your hands in both of his. The man pressed his lips against your limbs. 

"(Flower)." It was strange-- _romantic_. The way he chose the first flower you had fallen in love with at the age of thirteen. The first flower you had ever accepted from him. The man had such a good memory.

"I love you, Adam."

"I love you too~"


	23. Slip and Slide

23\. Slip and Slide

He had made a mistake. The Earl of Millennium released a squawk as you navigated the room. He watched you, trying to shove aside the packages that were in his hands so that he could remove his Noah skin before you greeted him. You, however, launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him. You then paused, pulled back, and started running your hand over his plump stomach. You patted it. Then fiddled with a loose thread, winding it around your finger and tugging it off.

"I thought you sounded different." You could just picture the way his ears were twitching.

The Millennium Earl patted you atop the head. "It doesn't bother you~?"

"Hmm? It's not like I don't _know_ who you are. The only time it'd bother me would be if you started talking about...work." You patted his stomach again. The man released a noise, as though protesting and stating that he wasn't fat. "You're very soft."

"Oh~?"

"Yes, like a big pillow I could take to bed with me and just cuddle with all day."

"We could do that~"

"...y'know something?" He hummed, urging you to continue. His hands were rubbing your upper-arms affectionately. "I don't even _need_ the Innocence to see the hearts at the ends of your sentences. You enunciate so well, put so much emotion in each of your sentences--so much love. You're always so happy."

"Not always~" The man was steering you towards the bed. You carefully felt around, fingertips on the edge of the mattress. You sat down on the edge of the bed, sighing happily when he took a seat beside you. "May we go on a date, (y/n)~?"

"People always stare when I'm around. I can _feel_ them looking at me."

"They're jealous because of how pretty you are~" You felt your cheeks heat up. He really did know how to cheer you up. You could not keep a goofy grin from your face. "I want to take you out to dinner, for some dessert, and maybe the theater. What do you think~?"

You flopped down on his bed. Your foster parents knew you visited the Duke, however did not know _all_ the details. Some would say the man was taking advantage of you, placing you in his room. They, however, did not know all the details of your relationship with him. The Earl pat your tummy as you had done to his. You giggled.

"I would love to go on a date with you, Adam." You wished you could see the expression on his face. In the end, you did not need to. The man was so vocal, he released a noise of glee.

He stood, grabbed your hand, and pulled you to your feet. The two of you hardly took a step before you both slipped backwards, falling onto the bed again. You laughed hysterically, finding it beyond hilarious that your leading cane had been the assailant. The Earl also laughed, his entire frame shaking.

~~

It was technically not the first time you had been blind. When your Innocence had first joined with you, it had not been known if you would ever regain your sense of sight. Thus you had learned how to read Braille. You were somewhat rusty, however you were still managing to make your way slowly through a book that your foster parents had purchased for you as a gift. You chuckled, passing through a humorous portion of the story. 

The Millennium Earl's ears twitched at the sound of your joy. He turned from his task of knitting and looked over at you. Road was sitting beside him, the Noah of Dreams sighing as she was forced to do an essay for one of her classes. The Earl set aside his project, stood up and crossed the room to you. He stood several inches away from you, watching. Your face kept lighting up as you read.

Since being blinded--since having your Innocence destroyed--you had been introduced to a few of the Noah. You were only on edge upon meeting them. They, likewise, seemed to walk upon eggshells. Not that you could tell by their facial expressions; it was their tone of voice. Tyki had seemed the most relaxed, although from what Adam had told you, Tyki was also the one who actually liked humans. 

"Do you know how to read braille?" you asked, sensing the man standing so close to you. He seemed to jump at the sound of your voice. You could feel him studying your face. Turning, you drew your hand up to his countenance and traced his features.

Allowing you to do so, knowing it was your version of looking at his face, the Millennium Earl answered your inquiry. "Not too well~"

"Mm. This is a comedy. But...you like tragedies, isn't that right?"

"They're my favorite~ But! I do like comedies as well..."

"A little bit of romance," you teased. He chuckled, running his thumb up and down your cheek as he cupped your face. "Sheril recommended it...and my parents bought it." He hummed out his appreciation of the way your family and his both took care of you. "There are some things I miss about being able to see, but... I'm fine."

"You've developed quite a knack for reading my moods~" You hummed out. The Millennium Earl shed his Noah skin, drew you to his side, and then walked the both of you back over to his chair. He sat down before pulling you into his lap. You curled up, giggling a bit at the rocking sensation.

"Should I leave the room?" you heard Road asked. Her voice sounded both amused and on edge.

"Huh?" you said just as Duke Millennium replied with: "Oh, yes~"

After the little girl gathered her things and left, once the door closed, you tilted your head up and 'peered' at Adam's face. He pressed his lips against yours gently. A brief kiss. You shuddered at the sensation. It always seemed so...electrical. Adam did not press you further. The two of you simply kissed and then once more ventured to discuss a gift Adam insisted upon giving you: prosthetic eyes that could move. The Noah truly had certain scientific advantages over the Black Order.

You were still on edge regarding this. You _knew_ it was more for him than it was for you. You were perfectly fine with having empty sockets. But him? You grabbed up his hand, nodding slowly. You loved him, and you would do this for him. It scared you. He well knew this. Which is why he would not let go of you.


	24. Healing

24\. Healing

The procedure was long, tedious in a way; the overall process moreso. There had been a fitting. A duration of 'free-time' during which your nerves were on edge as the eyes in question were created. Putting them into you--well, the entire process had, in the end, reminded you of the time your Innocence had fused with your optic nerve. Bandages had been placed over your eyes, and you were left to rest. These were not normal prosthetics, you had been informed. It was not just movement. The technology possessed by the Noah was something in and of itself--infused with Dark Matter, as Adam informed you later, it should prove to be all the more beneficial to you.

Laying in bed, listening to the sounds of the Millennium Earl rocking back and forth in his chair at your side, you allowed your mind to race. You had already been robbed of your Innocence. With Dark Matter no less. It made you sick to your stomach in a way that now that substance would become a part of you. 

Blindly, you reached out for Adam's hand. The creaking sound of the rocking chair halted. The Millennium Earl's larger hand encased yours, gentle and soothing. He was well aware of the cause of your discomfort and told you in his strange voice that he would never turn you into an akuma, would never have anyone else do so either. This was as far as he would go with the Dark Matter. And, he added weakly, it was only to fix what the Innocence had destroyed. You breathed slowly, listening to him.

"I'm not...angry, Adam." Your fingers twitched. You tilted your head to the side in order to rest your cheek against the coolness of your pillow. "I just feel as though I betrayed.... I already had--"

"(Y/n), it's my fault you were blinded. If I had let you go--"

"I would have been killed by an akuma possibly. Or one of the Noah. Or...maybe even..." The unspoken 'you' hung in the air. Your throat felt suddenly tight. The Earl of Millennium squeezed your hand, although not in a cruel way. You released a deep, ragged breath. "I don't need my eyesight."

"It won't be the same as before. You won't be seeing the colors or shapes of people's voices." Within your mouth, you ran your tongue along your teeth. "You should recognize akuma for what they are though." 

You furrowed your brow. Rolling onto your side, you requested that he climb into the bed with you. Your voice was soft as you spoke. Almost hesitant. His hand left you, and you could hear the tell-tale noises of him shedding his Noah skin. Adam slipped behind you on the bed, draping his arm over you and tugging you closer.

"Are you saying that I'll....see souls?"

"Not everyone's," the man responded without delay. "The akuma's souls." You winced, thinking of the pain you would see them in. Adam sighed, no doubt following your train of thought. "You'll recognize the glow of the Innocence."

"You don't want me oblivious to the war."

Adam was quiet for several moments before making a small noise. "I want you oblivious to the war, (y/n). But...that would kill you."

"Tell me the truth, Adam."

"I... I want to make sure there is no trace of the Innocence left."

"You don't want there to be a chance for me to ...fall...again. I think you destroyed--"

"I won't chance it. I love you too much." Your heart stuttered at his words. Your cheeks heated up, you could feel them do so. Turning in his arms, you cuddled tightly against his chest. "We're searching for a way to 'turn off' the ability to see the souls of the akuma."

"Ah...so _that's_ why I'm still wearing the bandages." His hum allowed you to know that this was so. "You're so sweet, Adam. I love you too."


	25. Result of the Fall

25\. Result of the Fall

There was, in a way, something magical about being blind. Or, as it were, about wearing a blindfold. You refused to take off the cloth despite the fact that there was a high probability you would be unable to see the souls of the akuma. Your other senses were all you needed. A part of you wished the prosthetics had been for show only. Yet there was that lingering desire to see Adam's face. To look into his eyes once more. Your chest felt tight every time you thought of doing so, yet always you swallowed down the urge.

Instead of gazing into his eyes, you opted to run your fingers along his facial features. His facial hair--you could always tell when he trimmed his stubble to what he deemed to be the correct length. The shapes of his eyes; sometimes he would have creases in the corners. You well knew the differences between those that formed what he was deprived of proper sleep, when he was smiling, frowning, and the few that were due to his age. If asked to draw his face, there was a high chance you could with no issue.

Adam nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck, causing you to scrunch up. His attention easily drew you out of your thoughts. You placed the tips of your fingers from your left hand against his cheek, and index from your right to his mouth. His breath hit against your flesh. You could feel his hands shifting from your shoulders towards the tie of the cloth that shielded your eyes. You released a shaky breath when he started to work it. Your entire body was beginning to tremble.

Clenching your jaw to stop your teeth from chattering, you spread your legs so that they slipped out from underneath Adam. The Noah patriarch hardly released a sound when you wrapped those limbs around him. You squeezed your eyes closed, wincing at the brightness that assaulted you through your eyelids. You whispered out a request for the man atop you to turn off the lights.

With a sigh, the Millennium Earl disentangled himself from your body and crossed the room. You heard him shut off the lights and close all the curtains. Only when you felt his weight return to the bed did you open your eyes.

"This is... I feel... Adam, are you sure?"

"Yes~ I had another pair of eyes put into someone else who was blinded. They cannot see the souls." 

You furrowed your brow. Sure, your love did charity from time to time; it was sometimes just strange to hear it from his lips, knowing who he was as you did. 

The Earl of Millennium once more laid atop you so that he could settle between your legs. You wrapped those limbs around him, enjoying the contact as his lips met yours. He cupped your face between his hands. His touch was soft. The way he handled you made you feel as though you were the most important person in the entire world. Your fingers entangled themselves in his hair. This time, you initiated the kiss. Your mouths melded together, your tongues meeting. As he moaned above you, your toes curled.

Having been previously stripped of all clothing, you could feel the effects of your close contact with the man. You giggled into the kiss, squirming. Your eyes searched in the darkness for the outlines of his features.

Adam began to rock against you. The first time he did so, you gasped. Before he could finish the second undulation of his body, you moved to meet his pace. Your hands trailed down his chest. His went to your shoulders. The two of you rubbed one another in a massaging fashion. He broke off the kiss, instead planting his lips aganist your forehead. The tip of your nose next. Each of your eyelids. You turned your head to the side so that he could have decent access to your neck.

"Do you like the eyes?" he asked as his hands trailed down to your chest.

Your lips quirked upwards into a loving smile. "I'll cherish them always." He sighed in contentment. His hands met yours, palms against palms and fingers entwining. "For now...for a bit longer...can they be just for you?"

"It can be that way as long as you want, (y/n)."

The two of you shifted once more so that he was able to enter you. The man above you was gentle, nothing like the monster the Order had made him out to be. Nothing like how you had remembered him from your childhood.

"Totoro," you whispered softly whilst following your train of thought.

He paused in his movements, resting his forehead against the sheets past your shoulder. "Mm...(y/n)... Don't."

"Hmm?"

"It makes me feel so....old."

You snorted, once more cupping his face in your hands and planting a kiss on his lips. Adam caressed your cheek. His other hand he trailed down between your bodies, tickling just under your belly button in a way that made you wet against him. You gasped, breathing heavily. He teased your clit with his thumb. Adam licked along your neck. You turned yoru head once more so that his tongue then dipped into your mouth. You met his every thrust, enjoying the way his cock rubbed your inner walls.

Delicious pressure was building up within you. He held you close, making your orgasm all the more intense when it came crashing. Your pulsing walls brought him to completion as well. For a while after, the two of you remained wrapped up in one another. Panting. Finally breathing regularly. 

"We should get a puppy," you said softly after a while.

"And name him Inny?" Your heart skipped a beat at the way he had remembered. Your face split into a wide grin. "You're so adorable when you smile like that~"

"You have good eyesight." 

"Carrot-cake." You burst out laughing. Of course, it would be a sweet he mentioned. "Would you like some~?"

"Mmm...stay in here all day today?"

"It's one of my favorite things to be with you~" You pecked his lips with a quick kiss. "Ah, you're right~ We should do one of my other favorite things."

"Hat arranging or dinner with the whole family?" There was a pause. You chuckled again. "Both?" He hummed. "We'll have to get little hats for Inny too."

"I like that~"

"I am so glad I fell for you."

"I love you too, (y/n)~"


End file.
